By KATE HUNTER
Family, the purpose of this budget, is to maximise the opportunities that flow from the hard work of your father and I. So please, put down that iPod Touch and pay attention or that thing will be auctioned to fund education reforms.
This budget is not intended to threaten, intimidate, or punish. All right, threaten, but just a little bit.
In the last year, we have considerably reduced our level of debt which is bloody marvellous. However, our slackness in re-using things, love of Friday night takeaways and sheer laziness when in comes to monitoring expenditure could see these advances eroded.