They’re confronting but good to know.
As a school counsellor, kids tell me things. Here are seven things most kids wish they could tell their new step-parent:
1. I want my parents to get back together.
Maybe that’s not really a secret; you probably already know this. The secret part is that it’s NOT because I don’t like you. It sounds weird, but it has nothing to do with you. I just want the two people I love most in this world to live in the same house so I don’t have to go back and forth or worry about either one.
2. I want my parent to myself.
I really, really still want and need one-on-one time with my parent. I know you love my dad/mum. I get that you are married and want to spend time together and that your marriage has to stay strong. BUT I really need time with my parent. Just us.
Again, it’s not because I don’t like you. But they are different with me alone and I really need to see that is still there so that I can feel secure. When my family-as-I-knew it split up, it was a huge loss for me. And even though my parent is happy now with you, I’m still grieving and trying to adjust. Please understand I’m not trying to push you out. I just need to keep the connection strong.
3. It hurts when you make me choose sides.
I know that there is a good chance you do not like or respect my other parent. I know you probably have seen and heard a lot more than I have so maybe you are even justified in your opinions. But regardless, please don't drag me into it. I need to stay neutral because I love them both. I know it might be hard, but if you are able to do this, it will help me trust you and look up to you as a great role model.