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How to show your support for a loved one who is transitioning.

Image: Caitlyn Jenner in Vanity Fair magazine

UPDATE 02.06.15:

Caitlyn Jenner, formerly known as Bruce Jenner, has made her first public appearance in the latest edition of Vanity Fair. Dressed in a cream-coloured corset and underwear, the 65-year-old features on the magazine’s cover, accompanied by the headline “Call Me Caitlyn.”

In the 22-page cover story, illustrated with a photos by Annie Leibovitz, Jenner — who until now has been referred to by the pronoun “he” —revealed she underwent a 10-hour “facial feminisation surgery” in March, and has not had genital surgery.

The former Olympian shared her cover on Instagram, writing: "Everybody has challenges in dealing with life. I'm so happy after such a long struggle and finally living my true self. Welcome to the world Caitlyn. It feels so good. Can't wait for you to get to know her/me."

We can't wait either, Caitlyn.

If someone you love is transitioning, there are many ways you can support them. Read on for 5 pieces of important advice. (Post continues after video.)

On 27.04.15 we reported:

On Saturday, Bruce Jenner put an end to months of rabid speculation, telling the world he is transitioning to become the person he always felt he was: a woman.

In an interview with US journalist Diane Sawyer, Jenner — the former husband of Kardashian family matriarch Kris Jenner — explained he is now "for all intents and purposes" a woman.

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Bruce Jenner during his interview with Diane Sawyer

 

“People look at me differently. They see you as this macho male, but my heart and my soul and everything that I do in life — it is part of me. That female side is part of me, it’s who I am,” the 65-year-old, who has been taking female hormones for the past year and a half, told Sawyer.

The former Olympic athlete revealed he was confused about his gender from a young age, and first saw a therapist and began transitioning in the mid-1980s. He underwent five years of hormone therapy at this time, but stopped after he met future wife Kris.

RELATED: What happens if you’re transgender and you have a gendered illness?

Jenner's interview has been met with great support from around the world, but that doesn't mean opening up was an easy decision for him — or for any member of the trans community, for that matter. Unfortunately, many trans people remain silenced by cruel social stigmas, including here in Australia. (Post continues after gallery.)

"While societal attitudes in Australia on this issue have, at a minimum, turned a corner, that’s only been in the last three years," says Sally Goldner, Executive Director of Transgender Victoria.

"Many people will still have had negative experiences or have heard negative things from society or parts of it — for example, the school yard or lunch-room gossip at work."

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RELATED: Transgender teen announced as the new face of Clean & Clear.

For this reason, the love, encouragement and support of close friends and family is crucial for a person who is transitioning, or contemplating it. If you know someone in this position, here are five ways to show your support.

1. Let them know you're there

Being encouraging and open about your support is a crucial first step when a transitioning loved one opens up to you. "That the person has chosen you to disclose this to shows a huge level of trust, and to reward that trust by being affirming could be massively important, even life-changing, for them," Sally Goldner says.

Simply saying "I support you" or "I'm here for you" can establish your support; from there, allow your friend to guide you in terms of what they might need. (Post continues after gallery.)

"Let them know you want to be an ally, and ask them what they need from you. Then, to the extent you are able, offer them the support they've asked for," suggests The Gender Centre. For instance, your loved one might ask for your assistance in letting other people know about their transition.

2. Use their preferred name and pronouns

Goldner says it's important to be affirming of a transitioning loved one and respectful of who they are. A good first step is to use their preferred name and/or pronoun, and to not make any assumptions regarding this.

"It’s perfectly okay to ask, 'I’d like to communicate respectfully, could I confirm which pronouns you prefer (if any?)'," Goldner says. "With up to one third of people in this area identifying as other than male or female, and using pronouns such as hen, hir, or ou, don’t assume the person is 'going from male to female' or 'going from female to male'."

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3. Educate yourself

Even if you don't have someone in your life who is transitioning, educating yourself about transgender issues — for instance, forms of gender expression and the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity — will increase your overall understanding and sensitivity.

RELATED: How you can help someone suffering from fear or anxiety.

"With more and more people coming out, someone in your life – a family member, friend, work colleague - could be the person. Being prepared can prevent you from being shocked and/or appearing to be shocked, and information and knowledge are good," Goldner says.

4. Know this isn't a spur-of-the-moment thing

Transgender advocate and actress Laverne Cox has Tweeted her support for Bruce Jenner

 

When a loved one opens up about transitioning, it's important to realise this isn't a snap decision or merely 'a phase' — rather, it's likely the latest chapter in a long and incredibly emotional journey. Like Bruce Jenner, many trans people identify with a different gender for years before beginning the transitioning process.

"This is something that has been in a person’s mind all their life, regardless of what age the person is when they tell you this," Goldner says.

5. Understand your own reaction

As with almost anything, every individual will hold different ideas and opinions regarding gender. For this reason, people might experience a range or emotions, or question their own beliefs or sense of self, after learning a loved one is transitioning.

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"That’s understandable; but it’s important to 'own your own stuff' and not put it on the person transitioning, so try to keep it separate," Goldner says.

"A parent might react by saying “was it something I did (or didn’t do)?” — while that belief has been around for a long time, it has no foundation. Trans and gender diverse people simply are who they are, full stop."

For some people, religion is a major contributing factor in how they perceive gender expression. "It’s important to remember love needs to take precedence over subjective interpretations of scriptures," Goldner says.

What not to do

When a loved one opens up about transitioning, or being transgender, it's imperative to express your support without rejecting or questioning their experience in any way.

"For example, [don't] ask, 'Are you sure?', say 'it's just a phase' or tell them they 'can be cured'. Sadly, some of these responses still happen," Goldner says.

There are numerous online resources where trans and gender diverse people and their loved ones can find information and support. These include, but are not limited to: Transgender Victoria, Ally Project, The Gender Centre, National LGBTI Health Alliance, and FTM Australia.