We’re sure it won’t come as a surprise to you that you and your partner have the same fights over and over again, like you’re on some kind of recurring loop. Here are the 10 most common fights married couples have, and some words of wisdom from the long-married on how to get rid of them for good.
1. The Money Fight.
It’s just a matter of time before The Money Fight rears it’s ugly head. No matter how well you begin with total financial optimism, family life can be hard. Expenses can and will get the better of you and it’s not until you hit financial hardship that you’ll find out what you are really made of.
Or, there may be no hardship at all, just a difference of opinion about how it’s spent. A good tip is to maintain separate bank accounts, assign a certain amount you can each spend on whatever you like each week or month and sort out those bills, pronto.
2. The Sex Fight.
How often, what position, which form of birth control, when to stop using birth control…The Sex Fight is a repeat offender depending on the life stage you and your partner are in.
It starts out all fine and dandy, then pesky things like work, fatigue, illness and children chip away at your sexual mojo until you find yourselves failing to physically connect in a way that is mutually fulfilling. Our best advice is to keep the lines of communication open. Openly discuss what you both want and do your best to meet each others needs.
3. The Parenting Fight.
It can be hard to raise kids together, especially when you bring different parenting ideologies from different upbringings. It’s important to discuss the big issues such as education and religion but don’t forget to decide on the little things too. When they are babies you might fight about whose turn it is to get up at night or whose turn it is to change the nappy.
As they get older you have to agree on a method of discipline, agree on the values and morals you want your kids to learn form you. The key thing here is that you have these discussion in private. Never ever fight in front of your kids.
4. The Toilet Roll Fight.
The toilet roll is a metaphor. What are the annoying habits you each have that you bicker about constantly? Every couple has them. Instead of fighting about them constantly, sit down every now and then and each of you brings up one annoying habit you want the other to stop doing or change how they are doing. If you discuss mutual discrepancies you are less likely to feel defensive.
5. The Work Fight.
He works too much or too little. You work too much or too little. He works too much for too little. You work too much for too little. Work fights can be exhausting. you both deserve to be able to pursue your dreams at the same time as put food on the table, but what if one or both of you has consuming careers? It can leave your partner feeling isolated.
Make sure that no matter how consumed by work you are you make the time to text each other, email each other, hug when you get home and have those sacred date nights at least once a month. Cute notes in his work bag or in her handbag that they’ll find during the day. Every little bit of contact counts.