How far would you go to get out of a date night with yourself?
Because a rather, um, hair-raising study in the journal, Science, found that after just 6-15 minutes of being alone, participants CHOSE to give themselves electric shocks rather than sit quietly with their own thoughts.
And the research wasn’t sponsored by EnergyAustralia.
We can partly blame biology for our solo-phobia. “Engaging in relationships is important for survival so we’re programmed to relate and work together, and socialised to form groups,” explains psychologist Dr Suzy Green, founder of The Positivity Institute.
Then factor in technology – the 24/7 companion of social media – and the reason we’re so bad at being alone is that we basically never are.
“And if you’ve never spent much time alone – maybe you also grew up in a large family – you falsely assume it will be lonely,” Dr Green adds. “But it doesn’t have to be that way.”
To all the single ladies out there. You are not alone
In fact, Dr Green is encouraging a new form of self-reflection being dubbed “search inside” – a kind of anti-Google that lets you focus on who you are and what you want. And it means being alone.
“You need time to reflect on who you are, what you value and where you’re heading. Doing things by yourself builds self-confidence – think of Reese Witherspoon in the film Wild and the woman she becomes through that journey. It’s good to learn that you don’t have to be around other people.”
Like a new exercise regime, alone time is a muscle that needs to be trained – the first step will be a stretch, and you’re likely to feel a bit stiff in the process. But keep at it and ‘table for one, please’ could be your new favourite mantra.
