By MIA FREEDMAN
I was talking to a newly married girlfriend this week and she told me about her 10 Date Rule. No sex for 10 dates. At first, I thought she said ‘days’ and I thought that sounded quite strict. But dates? That could mean 10 weeks! Which is kind of a long time when you want to sleep with someone.
She insists not. “I’ve done it three times and it’s never failed me.”
“Well, it’s always led to a long term relationship” she said. “It’s never fizzled out. It keeps them keen and then they’re hooked.”
It’s been a long time since I’ve had to think about the idea of when to first sleep with someone. A long time since I’ve had to think about words like ‘hooked’. The strategy of dating and of sex. I’ve almost forgotten how crucial the timing of that decision feels when you really like someone – or when you’re just really horny.
I actually think the 10 Date Rule is an excellent idea but for different reasons to my girlfriend. Forget ‘hooking’ a guy. What about avoiding a dud?
For me it’s not a morality or strategy issue. It’s not about slut-shaming or hooking a
fish man. Waiting before you have sex is about making sure your decision to be with someone is a good one. That’s assuming you want something more than sex. If you don’t? No strategy required! Just use a condom!