Look, I promise this isn’t going to be a post about the Kardashians. But I do need to reference them briefly to make a broader point. So even if you’ve had a gutful of them, stay with me.
I may or may not [cough] have been listening to Kim & Khloe Kardashian’s interview with Kyle and Jackie O the other night when the subject of Kim’s divorce was tentatively raised. The girl is a pro, knew how to deflect the question and was never going to give away more than she wanted to. But her answer was revealing (and alarming) in an entirely different way:
“I would never marry for a TV show, for money… it’s really ridiculous that I even have to defend that.”
She continued: “I am a hopeless romantic, and I’m in love with the dream of what all of that (marriage) represents… I don’t know if that’s what’s in the cards for me.”
Sister Khloe was quick to jump to Kim’s rescue throughout the interview and added:
“Kim is an amazing person… of course she’s sad, but she’ll get through it with us by her side, I’m just so proud of her. I’ve always admired her view on love and life… I love that about Kim… I never want that to go away.”
This made me so mad I had to get out of the car.
To me, these two bold quotes embody everything that’s wrong with modern relationships. And it’s what troubles me deeply when it comes to the attitudes of so many women towards marriage.
Where do we start?
How about with the fact that being ‘a hopeless romantic’ and being ‘in love with the dream’ is not a recipe for an adult relationship of any kind let alone a marriage.
Or the fact that Kim’s ‘view on love and life’ is probably not something to be admired right now if, as she said in another interview, she felt she would have been letting too many people down if she’d listened to her gut and pulled the pin BEFORE the wedding.
This is not just about one person. This is about a warped phenomenon that sees far too many women focus far too much on the wedding (and The Ring and The Dress) instead of the relationship, the PERSON they’re committing to spend the rest of their life with.
It’s about whirlwind romances and Prince Charmings and being swept off your feet and love at first sight. It’s about the fact that all of that is a crock if you don’t actually know someone well enough to understand their values, if you don’t have effective communication and you’re not prepared for what happens when the honeymoon to wear off.