How important is it to support your partner’s every decision? Even when that decision may impact their personal safety. Lilly* writes
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My husband is on the verge of joining the Army. If he achieves the appropriate test scores the jobs he has picked out are all of the horrible dangerous variety which involve long stints away from home on training and eventually deployment as well as the entire family moving far from home and any support.I want to support him, I know how important a satisfying career is to overall happiness and if this is what he wants well I guess we have to make that happen but there is so very much I despise about it and so much I am apprehensive of.
Some of our best friends are ‘defence families’ and I have watched my friends worry for their husbands wellbeing, move constantly, and plan and celebrate their Christmases, anniversaries and childrens birthdays alone. We have two children aged 2 1/2 and 1 as well as another on the way, my husband has always been a very hands-on Dad and being a military wife seems to be the equivalent of single parenting. I don’t relish the idea of re-introducing shy children to a father who has been away for most of the year.
I’m also nervous not only about how being in the Army and participating in active service may change my husband but also how I may react to that. I’m not a huge supporter of the war in Afghanistan or indeed war/violent solutions in general, my husband is. It’s never been a problem before but I don’t know I will react to him knowing that he has shot at and potentially killed other human beings.
I guess what I’m really looking for is a heads-up on what to expect, and some coping mechanisms.. How do you cope with having a partner who is away half the year and who’s occupation involves being shot at?
Top Comments
Darling, you cannot keep him if he is unkeepable. wars separate people, but i think as soon as he goes there a war between you too will occur also. do not support war. get ready for the worst. defeat and leaving the husband(for your own sake). and hope for the best. hugs and lots of kisses
I had nearly the same experience, been together with my husband for a very long time and I was very much against it for him joining the defence force, but as a wife you gotta do what u gotta do.
Unfortunately, defence force will not care for u or anything and ur husband will be gone for the most of ur time, whether u like it or not. They wouldnt even care when u seriuosly sick. In the end, I ended up being pregnant, which is my first and have to go through everything by myself and i started to loose feelings for my husband. In the end I am thinking, was it really worth it? No, since he joined I was the one who had to suffer and put up with all that crap...I hope i can work my own feelings out for the sake of my unborn child not leave him, but its very hard for me, and is getting harder and harder.