real life

Apparently there's a thing called 'grown-up furniture'.

If your home isn’t filled with expensive statement pieces of furniture, how do you even know you’re an adult?

This was the question posed by an article published this week, called “Home decor items to ditch if you’re over 30.”

The article begins positively enough, making the valid point that blu-tack’d posters on your wall aren’t the most sophisticated look. Sure, most of us would agree with that. But then it takes aim at a number of things that make a lot of assumptions about its readers – mainly that they are in well-paid jobs and care so much about what other people think that they would spend more money than they have or need to.

And, even worse –  the article makes it clear that anyone over 30 should live like a ‘grown-up‘.

How very dare they insist on that.

While we do like the idea of replacing paper napkins with sustainable linen ones, the social media comments in response to the article range from calling it laughable, to pure outrage. Most people didn’t like being ‘furniture-shamed’, or told how to live their lives. Some were suspicious of the advice being given for commercial reasons. And almost everyone agreed that the suggestions were nice – if you didn’t have kids or have to worry about money.

Here’s a breakdown of what the decor stylists quoted in the piece suggest needs addressing when you hit the big 3-0, complete with social media responses and our own.

Bad-quality bedding

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Stylist suggestion: “This one is important in feeling like you’ve got your life together.”

Facebook response: Countless people tagging each other proudly proclaiming they weren’t grown-ups.

Mamamia response: Me and my blanky from the 1980s have our life together, thank you very much.

Mismatched tableware

Stylist suggestion: “There are no excuses for chipped glasses or uneven sets of china or cutlery by the time you’re 30.”

Facebook response: “Keep your grotty paws off my Star Wars McDonald’s glass wear.” And, “You’re not the boss of me, I don’t have to do what you say! *cuddles mismatched cups*”

MM response: Unless you’re a hipster, or have more pressing concerns like world hunger.
Screenshot of the Facebook comments
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Bean bags

Stylist suggestion:  “ [A floor cushion is] easier on the eye, and you’ll feel much nicer drinking wine sitting on your floor cushion than sitting in your bean bag.” (Although people with kids are 'allowed' them.)

Facebook response: "Give me a bean bag over a floor cushion any day- I need back support in my 30s."

MM response: A floor cushion can't mould to your body like a bean bag can when you need a hug.

Promotional items

Stylist suggestion: "If your go-to wine glass is of the 21st birthday novelty variety, it might be time for an upgrade."

Facebook response: "All im gonna say is wtf did i just read??? ummm how bout no im keeping my butterbeer mug i got from harry potter world thankyou very much."

MM response: *glances at Michael Jackson doona cover*

Flat-pack everything

Stylist suggestion: "By your 30s, aim to have a few pieces of furniture that will stand the test of time both aesthetically and in terms of quality."

Facebook response: "Nup. 35 and still have flat pack and love it. I updated it and paint it to keep it fresh but everything around it has changed. I dont believe in waste. if it aint broke. etc etc. Its simple and functional and if you're creative you can make it work no matter the decade."

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And, "Phew. Glad I'm allowed to keep my Ikea furniture for another 2 years."

MM response: But then how will I get my Swedish meatball fix?

Screenshot of the Facebook comments

Housemates

MM response: "Thanks, Captain Obvious. And just FYI, there's a housing-crisis at the mo, and so thanks for making people living with their parents or sharing a home feel inadequate."
Finally, one brave commenter made this daring suggestion: "What if people just bought whatever the hell they wanted?"

We think our approach is best - keep the furniture you love, and don't tell anyone your age.

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