Trend alert: 6 stripper names for grandmas.

95% of scientists agree that becoming a grandmother won’t age you a single bit if you take on one of these sexy nana aliases. Seriously.

Learning that you’re about to become a ‘grandma’ for the first time can be fairly overwhelming.

The brain goes through a rollercoaster like process of “Oh yay, a baby” to “My god, I don’t even have (much) grey hair yet”, back to the more positive “Perhaps I could learn to knit? I could be a very good knitter” through to a howling “But I’m not OLD enough to be a nana” and then….. Total emotional and mental breakdown.

But you know what? You don’t want to be this woman and you sure as hell don’t want your own mum to be either…

The easiest way to avoid grandma panic, either for yourself or your own mum is to embrace your/her new position as matriarch of the family. And what better way to do that than picking a stripper name alternative to the usual 'nan', 'granny' or 'grandma'.

Yes, seriously. This new trend is fast becoming popular. We're not sure if it's meant to be serious, ironic, silly or actually sexy. However we're heartened by the fact that 95% of scientists agree that becoming a grandmother won't age you a single bit if you take on one of these sexy nana names.*

Try a few of these on for size.

1. Bambi

As if the Disney film association wasn't grandmotherly enough, this stripper name will take you all the way from your 40s till the ancient of days of great or even great great grandma-dom.


2. Champagne

Everybody loves the stuff, so there's no doubt those grandkids will be overflowing with love and affection for their 'Champers.' And if they're not? Well, then you can sip and slurp some bubbly in the name of…you.

How very Edwina and Patsy.

3. Precious

She may hit the poles at night like she was born to spin on metal but Precious is also the kind of grandma who won't take no nonsense from nobody. She demands respect and she'll get it dammit.

4. Cherry

No need to slam a door in the face of societies elderly 'granny' stereotyping. The name Cherry keeps things.... fruity fresh?

5. Candy

No grandchild of yours will be dropping in on Nana and Pop, thank you very much. Grandma Candy sports a pristine manicure, grey roots disappear beneath a monthly touch up at the hairdresser. Candy is ready to party (once the grandkids turn 18…obviously.)

6. Sugar

Sugar is slightly sweeter than the rest but still with a good dose of stripper to keep things interesting.

*Under no circumstances should you believe that Team IVillage actually asked any scientists about sexy nana names.

But if none of those winners takes your fancy, you could always try out one of these stripper names...