Too often sex tips for women completely ignore women. And you know what? We’ve had enough.
Are you sick of magazines telling you to “spice things up”? Or that moment of self-doubt that follows clicking on an article entitled “Ten-things-you-didn’t-know-were-things-you-have-been-doing-wrong-this-whole-time-because-you-are-obviously-an-incompetent-lover”?
You’re not alone.
Being informed about sex is great and I’m all for gaining confidence in the bedroom through your reading material, but too often when it comes to sex advice for women, well, it just f*cking sucks. Take some of these classic pearls of wisdom, which women’s magazines have inflicted on the sisterhood over the years.
“Sprinkle a little pepper under his nose right before he climaxes. Sneezing can feel similar to an orgasm and amplify the feel-good effects.”
“Feed each other ice cream (in the dark). Not being able to see means more spilling, which means more licking up the mess.”
“Slip a doughnut around his penis, and slowly eat it off.”
That last tip lead to this conversation in our office.
MM employee 1: “Once I read a suggestion to place a doughnut on your man’s penis and sexily eat it off.”
MM employee 2: “Is there a sexy way to eat a donut in that context, or any context?”
MM employee 1 (confused): “The hole in a donut is kinda small.”
MM employee 2: “Unless you had a cronut style donut. They’re a bit bigger I believe.”
MM employee 1: “But cronut holes are also small. I just ate one, I should know… Not from a penis though.”
Putting aside the fact that each of the above is inexplicably food related, they are also explicitly focussed on male pleasure. On getting yo’ man off.
These tips aren’t just absurd, they’re damaging.
Not only do they perpetuate ridiculous hetero-stereotypes and completely ignore the diversity of sexual relationships, they also ask women to prioritise their own desires behind those of their partner’s, which is 100% not on.