By STEPHANIE OSFIELD
It’s that time of year, parents. Prefects pandemonium is about to descend in primary schools across the nation.
This diehard year five school ritual sees kiddie candidates facing off in true Hunger Games fashion. So what’s the inside running on the ones who make it to the finish line?
If your child is planning to put their hand up this year, get swatting. I’ve asked around and here are the top ten tips from parents who’ve been there:
Tip 1: If you’ve got a girl, she should get hair extensions. And spanx shapewear – comes in tweens sizes now doesn’t it? Feminism? Just imagine it never happened.
Doesn’t matter what wonderful words escape your child’s lips – pretty and skinny rule and that’s all the girls in the lower years who don’t really know your girl, will care about. Remember, they are voting for a Princess not a prefect.
Use girls in Barbie or My Pony ads as your style guide. Go the sheer lip gloss. And short hair? No way. Not versatile enough to offer multiple hairstyles at assemblies. Think long hair worn with alpha attitude (and just the right selection of frilly hairbands). A girl captain with a pixie cut like Michelle Williams or Carey Mulligan? Never gonna happen mon ami.
Tip 2: Teach your child this phrase “I am a leader”. Encourage them to name-drop it throughout their speech. If they get elected they are gonna need those leadership skills. To do important awe-inspiring jobs like… raising and lowering the flag at school. Passing around sandwich platters when someone of note visits.
Stacking chairs. Oh and most importantly, holding a microphone to ask teachers, “Are there any other announcements?” And carrying the microphone and putting the microphone away and… um… You know other… stuff… that they will look back on later and think – that was a turning point – you know, when I realized what an honour and mighty life affirming deed it was to, you know, be the boss of that microphone – by showing it I was the leader.