real life

What to buy someone who insists they "don't need anything" this Christmas.

 

There are two types of people in this world: those who are steadfast in the belief they want for nothing when Christmas/birthdays/anniversaries roll around, and those who don’t.

Of course, whether someone is actually being genuine about whether they don’t want for anything is a totally separate story.

But for now, running on the assumption that there are humans that exist on this plant who aren’t crash-hot on the concept of receiving, and with the help of some generous colleagues and one very interesting Reddit thread, I have compiled things that might just work for that person who either has everything or insists they want nothing at all.

Bubble wrap

I am only half trolling with this one. And I say half, because there was one very overly enthusiastic gift-receiver on Reddit who was convinced it was one of the most delightful and thoughtful gifts they had ever received.

“One year I got a roll of bubble wrap. Bubble wrap is f*cking awesome!” one user wrote.

“Why would I buy myself bubble wrap? I wouldn’t, but someone thought enough about me to get me a roll of bubble wrap which I spent hours popping much to everyone else’s delight. No, the opposite of delight.”

So there’s that, I guess?

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Experiences

This one, I admit, is less earth-shattering but perhaps a little more within the realm of what is normal for a gift.

One particularly decisive Reddit user believes this is the only way forward.

“Pay for me to go skydiving, or tickets to a show or concert, or admission to a museum or municipal garden. I don’t need more things in my life, I need more life in my life,” the wrote.

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(I wonder, perhaps, if they have looked up the price tag that comes with a sky-diving present, but that’s for another time and another story. Also, municipal garden? Maybe go to the local park?)

Others acknowledged that if someone does actually insist on receiving nothing, they’re probably hiding a more deep-seated desire for things that are clearly outside your price range.

They write: “Alternatively ‘nothing’ means that everything I want is prohibitively expensive and even if you wanted to buy it for me I’d feel bad if you did. So a dinner out would be a good suggestion.”

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A phone charger

Sound silly? Think about those times you’re depserate for a charger at work. At home. At your partner’s place. At your parents, even. You can never have too many phone chargers.

An extension of that idea? Phone cases that charge your phone are lifesaves. Legitimate late-night-phone-about-to-die life savers. They’re worth checking out.

 A goat

I’m not going to apologise for clickbaiting you with that title, because a giving someone a goat is actually one of the nicer presents you can give someone this Christmas time.

And not just a goat, too. You can buy a duck, a chicken or even a piglet if you’re really into it.

For the person who really has everything, or doesn’t want for anything, then a donation to charity could be the way to go. Oxfam have an entire page of animals you can buy for a friend that means you still give them something, but also give someone else something they really need this Christmas. (Post continues after gallery.)

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High quality stuff

This is an idea I can really get around: the idea that presents should be about getting something they want, but would never actually take the time nor effort to buy it for themselves.

“If you really have to get a gift for them, get a higher quality version of something they usually buy for themselves,” one user wrote.

“People tend to lean towards practical items for everyday use, so if you get them an extra fancy version of something they already use then it will probably be appreciated. If someone got me a couple of pairs of the good explorer socks instead of the cheapies I buy myself, I would be chuffed.”

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Another added to the sentiment, saying the everyday essentials are a great gift, so long as you take the time to understand what kinds of things people actually use.

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“Stuff you know they use everyday, shower essentials, household supplies, stuff you usually buy every month or every other month. Just make sure you get stuff they actually buy or its just annoying because you are showing that you care, by knowing what they use at the same time as basically giving them money because they don’t have to buy more right away,” they wrote.

Stuff they can read

At this time of year, as many plan their holidays, reading material isn’t a bad present idea at all.

The best place to start? Looking at the top 10 books of 2016, which you can find here.

Alternatively, buy a magazine subscription and cherish the days of the physical magazine, words on a page and being able to hold reading material in your own hand before the virtual world becomes the only one we know.

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The clichéd

There is a reason vouchers exist: they were purely born out of a need to buy something for those who are just tricky to buy for. Even better? Buy them an Uber gift card. That will never not come in handy.

Alcohol, although existing for different reasons, can serve the same purpose. So buy the cliched if you need. They are entirely unoriginal but always appreciated.

Nothing

That was a joke. Don’t be the idiot that takes them literally.

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