They’re not what you’d expect.
Dear Mum who sent your child to school with no socks today,
My morning started with me mentally counting ahead two hours to figure out what time everyone’s bus had been scheduled for.
As I was packing lunches and making breakfast, my 9-year-old started to scream at an ungodly pitch because it suddenly occurred to him he’d forgotten to do one of his homework assignments.
Who knew that my telling him he had time to do it would do nothing to calm him down?
“I don’t want to go to school. I hate school.”
The meltdown continued, on and off, for more than half an hour.
In between trying to figure out what was really bothering him, offering comfort, and wanting to sell him, I had to constantly remind my teenager to move it so he wouldn’t miss his bus.
Brotherly love was in short supply.
“He just hit me.”
“He hit me first.”
“Stop your crying. Nobody wants to go to school.”
I added to the noise with cries of, “Don’t hit your brother. Stop whining. Don’t be mean. Move it. I can’t drive you if you miss your bus.”
I was totally feeling on top of my game, and was expecting my Mother of the Year award to come any minute.
Then I noticed that my daughter had decided to dress herself for school in a bathing suit. She was very proud of this.
I looked at her and realised that since I still had an hour before her bus came, I could put this situation on the back burner and go back to the battle of the boys.
In the midst of all this chaos, my teen realised that he couldn't find his phone.
Well, now the world was really coming to an end. How could a teen go to school without his iPhone? Climate change, economic inequality, and the threat of terrorism pale in comparison.
More crying. More fighting. More yelling.
I handled the situation perfectly by screaming that if he didn't leave for the bus this minute, it wouldn't matter where his phone was because I would cancel it and never let him have another one for all eternity.