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Mamamia recaps Game of Thrones: We need to talk about THAT Arya Stark scene.

 

Warning: This post contains A LOT of spoilers for Game of Thrones season 8 episode 2.

Hush now.

Game of Thrones is back.

We’ve had all of our happy family reunions and now it’s time to get down to business.

We open on Winterfell and Jaime Lannister is meeting with Daenerys and Jon in the great hall and honestly, it’s really not a great time to just be trusting people and letting them into your homes but okay. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

We find out that Daenerys is still mad about the whole Jaime-killing-her-dad-thing and once again, everyone is bickering. PEOPLE, WE DON’T HAVE THE TIME FOR THIS.

We unpacked everything that happened in episode 2 of Game of Thrones on our Mamamia Recaps podcast. Post continues after audio…

Tyrion jumps in to defend his brother and for a minute, it looks like Dany and Sansa are actually going to bond over their hatred for Jaime.

Jaime claims he did everything for his house and his family but before Dany even has a chance to respond, Bran emerges from the shadows and delivers a subtle burn.

“The things we do for love,” he says and please Bran, you’re scaring the children.

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Dany calls on Jon to share his opinion and it’s clear that his mind is a million miles away.

Shh Jon. Your aunty is talking.

After he finally stops thinking about ~the incest~, Jon decides to give in and let Jaime fight for Winterfell.

Elsewhere in Winterfell, Arya is eyeing up Gendry from afar and um, WHY IS EVERYONE SO HORNY RIGHT NOW? THE WHITE WALKERS ARE COMING.

Gendry looks back at Arya in the same way we look at Jon Snow and guys, pls. Go take a cold shower or something. It’s not the right time.

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Over at the weirwood tree, Jaime apologises to Bran for pushing him out of a window that one time and Bran lets him off far too easy.

“You’re not angry at me?” Jaime asks. “I’m not angry at anyone,” Bran replies.

Bran, pls. You waited outside in the cold FOR DAYS. And NOW you’re saying you don’t care? We don’t get it.

After Jaime asks Bran if he will expose his relationship with Cersei after the battle of Winterfell, Bran responds: “How do you know there is an afterwards?”

FFS. We knew it. Everyone is going to die.

game of thrones season 8 episode 2 recap
Why are you so... scary?
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We continue on Jaime's reunion tour as he meets up with Tyrion. They discuss Cersei and how she's most definitely pregnant but to be honest, we're still a little bit confused about what's actually going on with Cersei.

Is she pregnant or is she not? Will she ever get her elephants? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Back at the castle, Sansa and Daenerys are having some one-on-one time as Dany tries to make peace.

"We both know what it means to meet people who aren't inclined to accept a woman's rule, and we've both done a damn good job of it from what I can tell," Dany tells Sansa.

Things between the pair are awkward but Dany soon lightens the mood by poking fun at Jon's height. Again.

Seriously, someone needs to talk to Kit Harington's agent about all these height jokes.

Suddenly Dany and Sansa's passive aggressive conversation is interrupted – Theon Greyjoy is back.

He hugs Sansa and proclaims that he wants to fight for Winterfell and sh*t, we're crying again.

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game of thrones season 8 episode 2 recap
It's the reunion we never thought we'd get and we're not coping.

Back outside, Ser Davos is serving up dinner for the people of Winterfell. A young girl with greyscale-like scarring on her face tells Davos that she wants to join the soldiers but he manages to convince her to hide in the crypts with the other children. The young girl looks almost identical to Shireen and YOU MONSTERS, HOW DARE YOU REMIND DAVOS OF HER.

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Pause.

Tormund has arrived. SOMEONE FIND BRIENNE IMMEDIATELY.

"The big woman still here?" he asks. That's it. That's the best line in the series.

Everyone gathers for a big ol' strategy session and Tormund announces that everyone is probably going to die. Shh, we know.

"He will come for me," Bran announces and they decide to to use Bran as bait to lure the Night King in.

After the meeting, Jaime, Tyrion, Brienne, Podrick and Tormund gather in a circle for drinks in front of the fire.

This is it. They're about to get drunk and play spin the bottle.

game of thrones season 8 episode 2 recap
Guys. The White Walkers are coming. THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR GAMES.
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But before they can play, Tormund delivers the best pick-up line of all time.

"They call me Giantsbane. Want to know why?" he asks.

"I killed a giant when I was 10. Then I climbed right into bed with his wife. She woke up and you know what she did? She put me onto her teat for three months. That's how I got so strong. Giant's milk."

HE DRANK A GIANT'S TIDDY MILK.

FOR THREE MONTHS.

WHY DIDN'T WE HEAR ABOUT THIS EARLIER?

game of thrones season 8 episode 2 recap
We need to know EVERYTHING ABOUT THE MILK.
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Oh. We're back to Gendry and Arya and they're about to ~do it~.

We've been watching Arya on our screens since she was 10 years old and it's becoming uncomfortable for all of us. SHE'S BASICALLY OUR LITTLE SISTER, OKAY?

Make. It. Stop.

Back at Winterfell's resident slumber party, Brienne of Tarth has finally received the honour she's waited her whole life for as Jaime makes her a knight of the Seven Kingdoms.

Ugh, this dumb show keeps making me cry.

game of thrones season 8 episode 2 recap
WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
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But wait... it's happening. Dany and Jon are havin' a cuddle in the crypts and JON IS GOING TO TELL HER THE TRUTH.

"Lyanna and Rhaegar were married in secret," he explains. "They had a son. My name, my real name, is Aegon Targaryen."

Weirdly enough, Dany seems far too comfortable with the fact that she's been sleeping with her nephew. It's... weird.

But before they can discuss the fact that they're relatives that have been sleeping together (ew), their conversation is cut short.

THE WHITE WALKERS ARE HERE.

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