lifestyle

Is your vagina fashionable enough?

Well, the FASHUN gods have spoken. This season, there is only one way to wear a vagina. And you’re almost certainly doing it wrong.

It’s called the Full-Bush Brazilian, and anybody who’s anybody with lady-parts is wearing one.

The must-have vagina style of A/W 2014, the Full-Bush Brazilian is all about being noughties-style porn star on the bottom, and retro au naturel on the top. Vagina FASHUN People are calling it the ‘best of both worlds’.

I know what you’re thinking: Rosie! Stop teasing me! How do I get this must-have style!?! I NEED TO BE SPORTING THE LATEST VAGINA TREND RIGHT NOW.

Alright, settle down FASHUNistas, I’m totally in the know and am here to explain.

Basically, the Full-Bush Braz (I shortened it cos I’m writing a serious FASHUN article) is all about removing all the hair from everywhere (labia/bum crack etc), but keeping a bit on top for a bit of ‘retro-cool’ flavour.

Over at The Cut, a very trendy Full-Bush Braz customer had ths to say:

“I’d been getting full-on Brazilians, but then had a bad experience and could only do the labia and butt. Then I realized I liked it: I don’t look like a child, but I’m still clean for oral. Now that I’m used to it, the full-bush Brazilian is also about my low threshold for pain. No-bush Brazilian just hurts too much.”

It’s basically a reverse mullet for your pubes. Allow me to demonstrate:

Now, I’m no expert, but I’d say for comparative purposes, the Full-Bush Brazilian pretty much splits the difference between this:

And this:

So FASHUN people; you’ve been told. 2014 is all about the Full-Bush Brazilian. Everybody says so. Now go and get yourself a reverse pube mullet before Anna Wintour finds out you’re wearing your vagina wrong.

PS – the first person to leave a comment pointing out that that I should be saying ‘vulva’ instead of ‘vagina’ wins!


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