By RAGE GRRL
F*ck Bethenny Frankel.
If you don’t know who I’m talking about, consider yourself a better person than me.
That woman’s whole existence is ridiculous– her meteoric rise from the ranks of that television show, the Real Housewives of New York to her current role as some sort of diet/lifestyle mogul.
In case you couldn’t figure it out for yourself, let me tell you; she’s a traitor to all of woman kind, the worst kind of person imaginable. She’s made a career out of cultifying skinniness.
When I see her hawking her line of Skinny Girl Margarita Mix or whatever it is, I want to vomit. I think, “Is this what you want for your daughters America? Cheap, booze and slim hips?” Screw that. I deserve a real-ass margarita. With sugar. I deserve to put butter in it if I want to because I worked all day.
It’s a sick obsession, this over-concern women have with their body size. I’m not writing anything new here, I know that. But maybe you need somebody to tell you again.
Think about some girl having to hide her pregnancy from her parents and she can’t afford an abortion and she’s got no place to go. Think about the fact that the planet is warming and soon there won’t be any POLAR BEARS!
In less than 50 years THERE WILL BE NO POLAR BEARS! You just read that and I bet right after you thought, “I know, but if I could just lose this last 10 pounds…” Wake up!
Look, I’m not giving you the permission to sit in front of the television watching socially progressive documentaries and spoon mayonnaise into your mouth, no, don’t do that. If you really are fat, the legit kind of fat where you can’t put on your shoes or fit in a seat on an airplane, that sucks. Lose weight.
Stop eating junk and get off your ass. That last sentence was 8 words long. The weight loss industry made 20 billion dollars last year selling Americans (and Australians) countless, useless permutations of that 8-word sentence. Stop eating junk and get off your ass.
If you have kids, raise your kids. Run after them until you’re not fat anymore. If you don’t have kids, volunteer at a place where you’ll be forced to do something with your body, then do whatever that thing is until you’re not fat anymore. Try not to buy terrible, poison processed food all the time.
There, voila. I’m a weight-loss guru.
But, even if you’re not fat, if you’re a woman, you’re probably still so caught up with your toxic weight sh*t that you can’t even see straight. During my working life I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been part of these ridiculous workplace group diets.
Almost all of the participants have been women. Sometimes they even try to bribe one another with money. They all put in ten dollars on the first week and whoever loses the most wins the pool at the end of 4 months, or whatever it is.