Mother of two, Hayley Fowler, was “at the end of her tether” when she decided to take her 11-month-old son to sleep school.
Her first child, Lily, was a dream sleeper which set up some false expectations about baby number two.
“I thought we had every sort of technique down pat,” she said. But the second-time-mum felt she had “lost her way”.
Jack would wake up three or four times during the night and usually between 3.30am and 4.30am he would wake up again as if he was ready for the day to begin.
“I just got to the point where I got really low and resented going into his bedroom. I didn’t want to pick him up in bed, didn’t want to be near him. I decided that I need to go get some help,” said Fowler.
Jack is now a much happier baby throughout the day. Image supplied.
The 38-year-old mother was "barely functioning" when she booked in to Tresillian - an inpatient sleep school service that aims to help mothers get back on track.
"You have nothing left in the tank. You are barely functioning. These women are there to pick you up and they offer an amazing service.
"As long as you give yourself completely to them and are open to what they suggest, then it is going to be a service that will work for you. If you go in open minded it will work for you, if you go in closed minded or being a bit sensitive, then it is not going to work."
The centre is run by a group of family health nurses, psychologists, social workers, paediatricians and psychiatrists.
"Their main point was consistency and confidence. Also being calm – so maybe the three C’s. That is not their motto but that was where I lost it, I wasn’t calm.
"I was not aggressive, but I was shouting...Ever since I deescalated the situation and was really calm with him, he responded so much better to me," said Fowler.
It was also a chance for Jack and his mother to spend some time alone together - the pair stayed in the centre for four nights.
The family visit Hayley and Jack at sleep school. Image supplied.
"Being a parent second time around, I hadn’t really spent a lot of time with Jack because you are just sort of running around – doing the dishes, doing the washing. It was really lovely to have that time away with him and connect with him to pick up on some of his issues," she said.
"I am now a lot calmer with him. I feel this has really improved our situation – every night I am noticing changes in him. His cry isn’t as intense. He wakes and talks. He was so used to me feeding him, picking him up and he knows what is coming. He knows that - 'if I cry mummy is not going to come straight in',” said Fowler.
The sleep school has no quick fix and although Jack and his mother have really improved, it is still taking a lot of commitment.
"His cry is nowhere as near as intense as it once was. He is not waking up anywhere near as much during the night and I feel a lot calmer letting him cry. That knot in my stomach is not there anymore and I am better with how I am with him."
Top Comments
Sleep deprivation can be horrible and I completely understand the overwhelming need for your baby to sleep but there are gentler methods than this. The sentence "if I cry mummy is not going to come straight in" is particularly concerning.
I'm freaked out about my next baby reading these stories. Our 18 month old has slept through the night from day one. She did wake up - once - at 3.30am when she was about four months old.
I'm not saying this to brag. I have no idea why she's such a good sleeper. I'm convinced we just got incredibly lucky and number two will be a nightmare when it comes to sleep. I'm bracing myself for it.