Dear Tayla,
I’m so sorry, little sister.
I’m so sorry you were the little girl that nobody wanted. You deserved so much more.
I’m sorry that mum started taking off for days at a time when you were just a baby. As your big sisters, Rhiannon and I tried our best to take care of you. But I was only seven, and she was only 10. We had no idea what we were doing. We probably should have called someone who could help, but we were so scared that we’d be taken away again.
I’m sorry that when the DOCS ladies dropped us off at Grandma’s, you weren’t allowed to stay because you were too much for her to cope with. I can’t imagine how awful it must have been to watch your sisters get smaller and smaller in the distance as you were driven away in a car you didn’t recognise.
I’m sorry that every time we went back to live with mum, she would end up getting drunk and terrifying you. I’m sorry that when you were a toddler you knew that loud music coming from mummy’s room meant she was getting drunk again. I’m sorry that when you were a toddler you even knew what getting drunk meant.
I’m sorry that before you even started school, you became skilled at convincing mum not to kill herself. I’m sorry that I saw more wisdom and heartbreak in your eyes when you were five than I’ve seen in most adults since.
I’m so, so sorry that after years of neglect and chaos and instability, you were taken away from mum for good, only to have the people who were meant to step up fail you as well.
Top Comments
Makes me feel like crying. Who could be so bestial to a little kid? The author and her sister are in no way at fault, their relatives are another story, how could they drop a little girl off to be fostered? How could they not care. Tayla, you are a credit to YOURSELF, to your own resilience and strength drawn from somewhere, the knowledge of your sister's love maybe, even if you couldn't see them. Well done to you, and nothing but the very best of everything for the rest of your life.
I too would have loved you and taken you into my arms... I too am sorry for your start to life.. How lucky you are though to have love from you sisters, never forget that. Words are so powerful and Rosie and you are both powerful because of words. Embrace and focus on what you have not what you didn't have. I am an early childhood teacher and heartbroken because we cannot have a beautiful child (now adult) like you, my heart still wants to save you, but you can do that yourself because of your power, love and love of life. Be the best you can be and hold your head high.
Thank you Rosie for touching my heart
Linda