You are either going to love or hate this advice from the woman who made a daily commitment to intimacy.
I was getting a manicure the first time I learned that not all wives want to, ahem, go for a roll in the hay with their husbands.
I was 16 and had picked out orange nail polish (oh, 16). I had a book with me but it wasn’t long before I found another source of entertainment. In between buffings and polishings, the two women next to me talked about how much their husbands wanted IT and how little they wanted to give IT.
For a girl that had not even been asked out on a date this was a whole new world.
“Doesn’t he know how tired I am by the end of the day? As if after the kids are finally asleep I have the energy to do anything but sit down and watch some TV.”
” Maybe if he took care of the kids when he got home or made dinner once in a while I would be more interested. Hell, just pick up the milk on the way home from work. I am not asking for much. Now that I think about it, I don’t think we have done it in the last three weeks.”
Wait. These women were married… they lived with a guy…. who slept in their bed. They could have sex all the time! And they didn’t want to? It made no sense…like turning down a calorie-free dessert.
How sad. How wasteful. How stupid. When I got married, I would always want to have sex with my husband! And I would never be too tired.
And then I grew up.
Sex was everything 16-year old me imagined plus a little whipped cream on top. (Whipped cream, see what I did there?) And once Riley and I got married there was lots and lots and lots of it. Then we had a baby and I really was just so tired my bones hurt.
And then one day while washing dishes, I realised that we had gone eight days without touching each other. Eight days was a quite some time for us. But the thing that bothered me the most was that I hadn’t missed it. And I knew that was a problem.
And so, without further ado….
Five Reasons You Should Have Sex with Your Husband Every Night
1. Being a mother, one of the ultimate expressions of womanhood, can often leave a girl feeling stripped of her femininity. There is something about attending to the every need of another human being that makes one feel distinctly gender neutral. Most of my days are spent playing with dolls, wiping baby food off of my clothes, changing nappies, wiping snot off of my clothes, going to the park, and wiping what-the-heavens-is-that off of my clothes. There is something restorative about kissing the boy you love. There are times in Riley’s arms when I remember who I am before I even realise I have forgotten. Yes, I am a cook, cleaner, teacher, and wiper of all things disgusting. But I am also something more, something delightful and completely apart from my roles. I am a woman!
2. If you want your husband to act like a man, you need to treat him like a man. Hold the eye rolls. I am not pushing for a return to the 1950s. (Although, heaven knows an era in which low rise jeans did not exist is basically alright by me.) Women need any number of criteria met to feel loved. Men are far simpler. They need to be fed, they need to be appreciated, and they need to have sex. That is it. Really. So make or order dinner once in a while. Say thank you. And my goodness, let the poor man see you naked. It is astounding what a good man will do for a good woman that has made him feel loved. After a few weeks of meals and make outs, you will sit back and wonder why you didn’t insist on having sex every night sooner. Talk about a small investment and big returns.