5 times the Fifty Shades Darker trailer made us laugh out loud.

It’s been billed as the sexiest movie of next year, and we’re sure that’s where the filmmakers meant to go with it…but something about this titillating trailer just didn’t hit the mark.

In fact, it made us smile. Then it made us laugh. A lot.

So, in order to share the joy, we give you…

Five times the Fifty Shades Darker trailer made us laugh out loud.

1. The part where “This Valentine’s Day” roles across the screen. Because nothing says “I love you” like a bouquet of sadistic torture, with a side of controlling partner syndrome and a hint of emotional abuse.

Ah, love is in the air.

2. When Christian and Ana sweep into the ball, masks firmly pulled over their faces in a desperate grab to make them look mysterious/compelling/in any way more interesting than the last movie.

Yet, your eye is drawn to the poster just above Ana's shoulder where the little boy with the teddy bear is peaking out from the poster.

He's by far the most interesting person in this scene.

3. The shower scene aimed to be a wet'n'wild love shot that goes where the The Notebook writers were too afraid to venture. Instead, it looks like Christian has scooped Ana up and attempted to enter them both in some sort of community funded piggyback race.

Except he's holding her the wrong way...

4. That creepy, dark haired girl staring at Ana and Christian as they sleep. The one who probably wandered in from The Grudge. Or The Ring.

Her presence is not entirely a surprise, however. Ana spent most of the first movie chewing on her bottom lip. It was only a matter of time before this strayed into zombie territory.

5. The fact that Christian Grey thinks he is a superhero. The way her pulled that mask over his face, and stood at his floor to ceiling windows, brooding over the state of his city.

Well, I guess it's nice to know something in this movie is using protection...

Fifty Shades Darker comes to theatres February 9, 2017.