Can I bubble wrap my baby?
For the past few weeks I have seen post after post about the ‘things no one tells you about when you have a baby’. They all have some true and usually hilarious points, but they seem to be missing one important thing. Feeling fear.
Everyone told me life would be hard but so rewarding once the baby arrived. I heard about feeling ‘utterly, bone achingly tired’, ‘stressed’, ‘zombie-like’, ‘so in love’, ‘joy all day every day’ (let’s not get too carried away) and ‘peace and happiness’.
Ummm, what about absolutely terrified?
No one told me I would scared to death. I don’t mean terrified of my son. I mean terrified of something, EVERYTHING happening to him. No one talks about it, no one mentions it because I assume most mums want to show you that everything is totally fine; life is wonderful, tiring but wonderful.
I really didn’t think I had anything to worry about until my son came down with croup. One night I put him to bed with a sniffle and at midnight he woke up coughing and there it was – that unmistakable seal bark. My heart was racing. When we arrived at the Emergency Department, I could hardly give the nurse his date of birth. They rushed him in as a priority and immediately gave him steroids.
They also gave him an awful type of oxygen mask which he hated so much he cried the entire time he wore it.
He was so upset it broke my heart. I hated hearing him in pain.
When the nurse came to check on him, I broke down and sobbed. I didn’t care if she thought I was totally over the top, I was beyond terrified my little baby was so unwell. I was his mother and I felt totally helpless.
We left the hospital around 1:30am and when we got home, I put my baby to bed and I laid down on the floor of his nursery so I could be sure he didn’t stop breathing.
I didn’t get 1 minute of sleep.