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The one thing no one talks about when a new baby arrives.

Can I bubble wrap my baby?

For the past few weeks I have seen post after post about the ‘things no one tells you about when you have a baby’. They all have some true and usually hilarious points, but they seem to be missing one important thing. Feeling fear.

Everyone told me life would be hard but so rewarding once the baby arrived. I heard about feeling ‘utterly, bone achingly tired’, ‘stressed’, ‘zombie-like’, ‘so in love’, ‘joy all day every day’ (let’s not get too carried away) and ‘peace and happiness’.

Ummm, what about absolutely terrified?

No one told me I would scared to death. I don’t mean terrified of my son. I mean terrified of something, EVERYTHING happening to him. No one talks about it, no one mentions it because I assume most mums want to show you that everything is totally fine; life is wonderful, tiring but wonderful.

I really didn’t think I had anything to worry about until my son came down with croup. One night I put him to bed with a sniffle and at midnight he woke up coughing and there it was – that unmistakable seal bark. My heart was racing. When we arrived at the Emergency Department, I could hardly give the nurse his date of birth. They rushed him in as a priority and immediately gave him steroids.

They also gave him an awful type of oxygen mask which he hated so much he cried the entire time he wore it.

"They also gave him an awful type of oxygen mask which he hated so much he cried for the entire time."

He was so upset it broke my heart. I hated hearing him in pain.

When the nurse came to check on him, I broke down and sobbed. I didn’t care if she thought I was totally over the top, I was beyond terrified my little baby was so unwell. I was his mother and I felt totally helpless.

We left the hospital around 1:30am and when we got home, I put my baby to bed and I laid down on the floor of his nursery so I could be sure he didn’t stop breathing.

I didn’t get 1 minute of sleep.

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I remember thinking that I will NEVER have another child if this is how terrifying and painful it is to watch them get sick.  No one warned me about this. No one ever said ‘oh you’re pregnant? That’s so great! By the way, there may come a point where you feel sick with anxiety for your child’s health and safety – enjoy!’.

"My heart was racing, when we arrived at the Emergency Department and I could hardly give the nurse his date of birth."

Why don’t we talk about the fears we have as mothers? How scary it is when our babies get sick? How your heart races when they are on the edge of the couch trying to stand up? How you see them put something absolutely choke able in their mouths? How you have nightmares about them being abducted or worse?

I know these are awful things to think about, but I can’t be the only one that has at least one or all of these fears every single day.

Not in any of the mother groups I’ve been in do we discuss that fear and anxiety are a normal part of motherhood. It’s all about breastfeeding, sleep training and solids. Not about how to cope with the anxiety of being a new mum and all the worries and fears that come with it.

I wish I knew all of this before my child got sick and I felt totally and utterly helpless.

"My biggest fear is how much I love him. If anything ever happened to him, how could I live?"

That night in the hospital, when my baby woke up...and when he smiled at me I knew that it's okay to be afraid because it just reaffirmed how crazy, insanely deep your love for your child is. I knew I would have another 10 babies if I could.

More mums need to be honest about being fearful, so that we all know we are in this together.

How have you overcome the fear of having a sick or injured child?

Read more from Hazel on her blog hunnymummy.wordpress.com.

Like this? Try these:

20 questions first time mums always ask.

What your baby’s cries actually mean.

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Tags: babies , baby-2 , health , motherhood , parenting-2
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