kids

The 6 Father's Day gifts that tell you what your family really thinks of you.

Everyone pulls out the stops when it comes to buying Mother’s Day presents (and fair enough, too).

Father’s Day presents are a bit….well….lame.

If you’re buying presents for your Dad, this is what you’re telling him.

Business Shirt

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“Dad, you have a job that requires a business shirt. We know nothing about what you actually do, but you do wear a shirt.”

Fitbit

“Dad, you’re fat.”

Aftershave

“Dad, we don’t know if anyone actually ever uses this stuff, but here it is anyway. People on TV are using that stuff all the time.”

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Electric Shaver

“Dad, you don’t know how to shave. Dad, you’re too lazy to shave properly. Stop shaving in the shower, you lazy bastard.”

Power Tools

“Dad, you need to become a real man. Drill some stuff. That’s what a real man does. You’re a crap dad.”

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Socks

“Dad, we really couldn’t be bothered learning anything about you and giving you something you’d like. Everyone wears socks. Here are some socks. They have funky designs. Wear them. You’re boring.”

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Jeff has a stand-up comedy show which is part of the Sydney Fringe. You can buy tickets here. You can also check out his hilarious podcast and you can follow him on Twitter.