FASHION CRITICAL: It's only January and we already have the 10 worst trends of 2019.

She (or he, who knows?) has been labelled Australia’s answer to Joan Rivers and when it comes to commentating on what famous people wear, Fashion Critical holds nothing back.

More than 160,000 followers on Facebook eagerly await a new album by the self-proclaimed street-sweeper turned fashion critique and here, Fashion Critical has identified the 10 worst trends of the year…and it’s only January.

Asymmetrical jeans:

This is a goddamn sh*t show. Who came up with this idea? I feel like these jeans would give you an instant limp. “I’m feeling a bit blaggh today, might wear my fat jeans. Oh WAIT. My fat jeans are ALSO my skinny jeans. CUE INSTANTANEOUS head explosion.

 

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@nataliiagotsii wearing «when you can’t decide» jeans ???? and t-shirt from PF2019 collection #kseniaschnaider

A post shared by Ksenia Schnaider (@kseniaschnaider) on Jan 21, 2019 at 2:26pm PST

 

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@sonya_soltes wearing asymmetric jeans from PF2019 collection ♨️ #kseniaschnaider #selfielookbook

A post shared by Ksenia Schnaider (@kseniaschnaider) on Jan 7, 2019 at 11:16pm PST

 

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Асиметричний худі BOX ???? від @supportbypoustovit та асиметричні джинси @kseniaschnaider. Як вам таке комбо? ????На фото наш фебьюлоз бренд-менеджер @velency ❤️ #supportbypoustovit #puturegoinabox

A post shared by SUPPORT by Poustovit (@supportbypoustovit) on Jan 17, 2019 at 8:23am PST

Beginning Boutique swimmer bottoms:

What can be said about these bikini bottoms that hasn’t already been said by every HILARIOUS vagina owner in Australia. The fact is, that labia minora or majora are not welcome in these togs. Only pelvic bones and thigh gaps and those with a BMI of seven need apply. #freetheflaps

 

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LONG WEEKEND VIBIN’ ???? Red hot swim just dropped! Tap to shop the @9.0swim Haymen Bikini Tee Red & White $59.95 & Heron Bikini Bottoms Red & White $39.95!

A post shared by Beginning Boutique (@beginningboutique) on Jan 4, 2019 at 2:08am PST

 

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POOL SESH ???? @olivia.mathers looks UNREAL in the @9.0swim Cabana Bikini Bottoms Matte Nude $49.95!

A post shared by Beginning Boutique (@beginningboutique) on Jan 1, 2019 at 1:06am PST

Watch what happened when Clare Stephens dared to try the Beginning Boutique bikini bottoms. You’ll never look at a tortilla wrap in the same way again.

Goat shoes:

Considering camel toes were not welcome in those bikini bottoms, the farshun community came together and decided to insert them into shoes. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND SACRED in this world, WHO COMES UP WITH THIS SHIT? I am for SURE going to pair these with my asymmetrical jeans and then LITERALLY die of shame and humiliation on the spot.

 

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Step into this season women's staple accessories with our selection of new Tabi forms: boots, sock boots, platforms shoes and sandals are available online and in Maison Margiela boutiques. #MaisonMargiela

A post shared by Maison Margiela (@maisonmargiela) on Jan 16, 2019 at 9:29am PST

The half jacket:

When you’re hitting a black tie charity gala at 6pm and building sandcastles at the beach at 6:01pm. I think we can all agree that this look is not going to translate to the real world. I’m extremely curious to see the back of this. Also, one side is ALWAYS going to be either sweating or freezing. Would probably make sense to pair with asymmetrical jeans as I guess feeling confused and uncomfortable is now the purpose of fashion as we know it.

 

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Bond, James Bond

A post shared by Kourtney Kardashian (@kourtneykardash) on Jan 14, 2019 at 7:52pm PST

Low rise jeans are back:

The return of low rise jeans. Are we supposed to pair these with the high-rise vagina free bikini bottoms? I’m so confused and no longer following. I do know that the low-rise jean pant produces a muffin top that Gloria Jeans would be proud of. Grim times ahead folks. Please brace for impact.

 

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When the crew came to town, we dressed alike, blabbed all day and danced at night to "Tootsee Roll"!!!!!! Here's to the good old days!!! #FBF

A post shared by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on Sep 29, 2017 at 1:21pm PDT

 

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Last night’s #fashionsefi????

A post shared by Sofia Vergara (@sofiavergara) on Dec 7, 2018 at 11:00am PST

 

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Love You ❤️ Some of my favorite people ever @alexandrevauthier @vittoceretti @sammcknight1 ❤️❤️

A post shared by ???? (@bellahadid) on Jan 24, 2018 at 3:10pm PST

Grass sneakers:

SERIOUSLY, is the entire fashion world smoking the stuff from which these sneakers are made? Imagine if the shoes had teeny tiny tennis courts on them and tiny people wearing other sneakers made of grass? And so on and so forth until your brain turns inside out and falls out on the floor.

 

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Nike Air Max 1 NRG “Grass” is apparently a thing. ???? Drip, skip or flip? ????: @py_news

A post shared by Sole Collector (@solecollector) on Jan 11, 2019 at 9:02pm PST

Bike shorts as legit clothing:

Bike shorts as clothes: DISCUSS. Okay then, I’m so glad you asked. When I was in year 5, I had a party and wore bike shorts with a lovely black and white check pattern on them, paired with an oversize fluro Minnie Mouse T shirt. It really makes my heart soar to know that I’m not too far away from being able to rock that look again. Worryingly, don’t even mind Kim Kardashian’s bike pants ensemble. WHAT HAVE I BECOME???? *slides down wall, sobbing*

VERY large sun hats:

This is actually amazing. I would 11/10 wear this on a plane or at the movies. Beach umbrellas are SO last year, losers. BE the umbrella.

 

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MY TRADITIONAL PROVENÇAL HAT ON KENDALL, THE NEW SANTONS / #JACQUEMUS #KENDALLJENNER

A post shared by JACQUEMUS (@jacquemus) on May 23, 2017 at 12:26pm PDT

 

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........END OF THE BOMBA SUMMER, 1 MOUNTH TO THE NEXT SUMMER COLLECTION.... AND I’AM VERY VERY EXCITED TO SHOW YOU THIS ONE...AND ALSO THANKS TO HAVE BEEN SO MANY TO WEAR THIS SUMMER COLLECTION IT MAKES ME FEEL SO SPECIAL....REALLY THANKS SIMON

A post shared by JACQUEMUS (@jacquemus) on Aug 20, 2018 at 1:26pm PDT

 

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Gonna go harvest some apples, brb. ????

A post shared by Emilia (@buccolina) on Apr 27, 2018 at 11:16am PDT

Inside out jeans:

I’m honestly shaking my head and my fists. BUT WHY HUMANS? Why are we hell bent on making ourselves look ugly? If this “trend” takes off, I’ll eat my giant hat.

 

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#natashazinko #unravelproject #chanelofficial #fridaymood

A post shared by Queenie Ying® (@queenieyyq) on Jan 10, 2019 at 9:04am PST

90s shell accessories:

Ahhhhh the shell accessory. I probably would have had stronger words to say about this, had my eyes not have been burned CLEAR THROUGH to the skull from the previous images. I find this quite pleasant, plus it conjures memories of late night street-side purchases in Surfers Paradise, circa 1989. If you BEGGED mother, she might just buy you one. THOSE, my friends, were heady days, my friends. Heady days indeed.

 

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#Tohum ???????????????? from @saasha_burns ????????????

A post shared by Tohum By Verda Alaton (@tohumdesign) on Jan 16, 2019 at 7:43am PST

 

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#Tohum #Jewelry #Concha in #Burgundy ???????????? #newin #shoponline #mixthemup

A post shared by Tohum By Verda Alaton (@tohumdesign) on Jan 10, 2019 at 11:09pm PST

 

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Can’t wait! New season shell pieces from @lesfleurstudio #countdown ????

A post shared by María Bernad (@maria_bernad) on Jan 3, 2019 at 11:34am PST

Which fashion trend do you think is the most controversial? Tell us in a comment below.