Dining out has never been as hard as it is in 2017.
First, you’ll probably (definitely) be judged for ordering a smashed avo toast.
Next, you may encounter the person next to you being served a ‘deconstructed sushi’.
And worst of all, you may pick up a menu and have NO IDEA what any of it means.
Add in a side of a slightly judgemental waiter (yes, they will judge you for picking tap water over sparkling) and you have yourself
the perfect a traumatising night out.
But, thankfully, there are ways you can get through your meal without turning to 'Google translate' or forking out a million dollars on a red wine reduction that's actually just tomato sauce.
You just need to know the lingo before you dine.
For example: 'locally sourced' of "farm fresh" could mean that your food is sourced from a local, organic, carbon-neutral farm.
OR...it definitely, maybe means that the work experience chef carried 16 bags of shopping from the IGA across the street.
The term 'organic'? The fact that it's pesticide-free is pretty much the only thing that's 'free' about it. Who would have thought those extra specks of dirt would end up costing you extra?
LISTEN: Do cafes and restaurants need to quieten down?
And while menu items described as a "duo" or "trio" sound special and unique and just a little bit fancy, remember that at the end of the day you're only being served two (or three) of something.
Remember these handy hints and you'll be fine. Trust us.
Or you could just ordered a few bottles of the second most expensive wine on the list (because, that's the one we all choose, right?) and enjoy your night.
What's the most 'pretentious' menu item you've ever read? Tell us in the comments below.