Dear Family Feud. The 1950s called, they want their survey back.

By NINA FUNNELL

Ah Family Feud. Exposing the inherent sexism in Australian attitudes since, like, forever.

And this week, social media let fly after an episode aired, focusing on the question, ‘name a woman’s job’, with predictably sexist responses offered as the ‘correct’ answers.

Yes, this happened. 

It’s moments like these, that I seriously wish some super sassy family were there to flip the script on that shit.

In my made-up-head-fantasies, it looks a bit like this:

Host Grant Denyer: Name a Woman’s job:

Contestant 1: Well Grant, every day women have to work really hard to clean up the damage caused by sexist attitudes which permeate the mainstream media, so I’m going to go with CLEANER!

Grant: Cleaner! Is it on the board! Yes! It is! For 17 points!

Contestant 2: Hi Grant! Well I’m thinking about women in politics, and obviously Julie Bishop is the minister for foreign affairs, but most of our top women in politics deal with various domestic affairs, so I’m going to go with DOMESTIC DUTIES.

One of the families on ‘Family Fued’.

Grant: Domestic duties! It’s on the board!!! For 5 points.

Contestant 3: Hmmm… Well, sticking to politics for a second, obviously being Prime Minister is a woman’s job. And I’m a bit of a fan of Julia Gillard who was constantly dishing out all sorts of sassy critiques of the opposition: so DOING THE DISHING.

Grant: The dishing? Is it up there? Survey says… It is!!! Wow, you’ve got to be pretty happy with this. This family of awesome lady-warriors-who-exist-in-Nina’s-head are far more awesome than our completely fake unawesome pollsters.

Contestant 4: Hi Grant. I think Australian women spend an awful lot of time trying to nurse the sick and twisted values of this country back to health. So I’m going to go with NURSING.

Grant: Let’s see what the survey says. Nursing. It’s up there! 13 points.

Contestant 1: OK, building on that theme, I think that one job women are constantly performing is educating others on why sexism, misogyny and the patriarchy are still alive and kicking in this country. So I’m going to go with: TEACHER.

Grant: Teacher? Is it on the board? OH NOOOOOESSSS! It’s not. That’s really more of a man’s job. That’s your first strike!

Contestant 2: Huh. That’s disappointing. OK. Well I’m still thinking about the comment I made earlier about the Minister for Foreign Affairs, and I see Political figures playing host to all sorts foreign dignitaries and VIP’s all the time. So what about playing receptionist? RECEPTIONIST is my answer.

Grant: And it’s up there. Only a couple of answers left.

Contestant 3: Hi Grant. Julia Gillard fan here, again. Now if Julia’s personal relationship taught me anything it’s that hairdressing is more of a man’s job. But at the risk of that looking a bit gender prescriptive- which we all know is an ugly trait- I’m going to toss it into the mix: HAIRDRESSING.

Grant: Well I know I don’t do my own hair. My arms don’t reach. The lovely underpaid ladies here at Channel 10 do it for me. Hairdressing! Yes! It’s up there. 7 Points!

Contestant 4: Ok. Well I think it’s the role of young women in particular, to be constantly cooking up new ways to fight these old battles. You know, using Twitter to call out crappy game shows questions, or using Hashtags to raise awareness about the daily sexism they encounter. So I’m going with COOKING.

Grant: And wouldn’t you believe it? It’s up there!

Contestant 1: Hi Grant, well right now, all I want to do is wash my hands of this whole nasty parochial business. So I’m going with WASHING.

Grant: And there you have it folks! It’s on the board. The family-in-Nina’s-head has made a clean sweep of the board! Which is not the sort of sweeping they’re probably used to! Hahahhahahaha!!!!

*FAMILY FACE-PALM*

*Twitter goes wild.*

*Family rides off set on magical unicorns*

The end.

Take a look through real life Family Fued here: