rogue

Confused rescue dog fails miserably at agility course. Is still a good boy.

Hello,

My name is Kratu and I am a rescue dog.

That means my original human didn’t love me enough but then I got a brand new human who loves me a lot.

On the weekend my human, who is named Tessa, entered me in the Crufts Dog Show in Birmingham, England.

It was very, very silly.

Heaps of other humans entered their dogs also and we all gathered around this round circle full of fake green grass. I knew it was fake because I sniffed it and it didn’t smell like the grass in my human’s yard.

I still peed on it though.

Then we watched as some tiny puppers and big ole’ woofers went onto the fake grass and one-by-one jumped over things and under things and ran through other things.

They were all very serious and their humans were very proud.

Then it was my turn to go onto the big green circle.

Tessa said I was a very, very good boy and then I was expected to do the things.

I ran and jumped over one of those hurdle-thingys and everyone was shouty and happy.

But then I realised I wanted to sniff the big green circle instead.

So I did a sniff and then ran and jumped over another one of those hurdle-thingys and another one and then I ran over to some humans in pink polo shirts and sniffed them.

They didn’t smell too bad.

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Then human Tessa whispered “Please Kratu, you’re embarrassing me in front of all the other humans”, so I ran and jumped over another hurdle-thingy and another hurdle-thingy.

Tessa was very proud, but she also wanted me to do more impressing.

She tried to get me to go through a weave-thingy but I was not interested in that. I might get stuck between the poles and then who would impress the humans?

Next was a big tube-y thing and I liked it very much. It was like a never-ending kennel made out of a spaceship.

I went straight into it but then I turned around and came out the exact same way. I bamboozled the humans and they loved it.

So I did it again.

I jumped over another hurdle-thingy and then I went up and down a big, sharp hill that did not have any green stuff on it.

Then I went back through the tube, jumped over some more hurdle-thingys and then sniffed another human.

Finally, I sniffed my human and she said ‘Kratu you did a bamboozle. I am very proud of you and you will eat t-bone steaks for life”.

She also said I wouldn’t be going to anymore shows because I’m just too good at them.

Bye humans.

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