"I said no to a baby shower. Now I'm getting two."

Did I mumble when I said I didn’t want a shower?

I’m not the sort of person who likes a lot of attention. Which is why I was very clear from the time I announced my pregnancy that I do not want a baby shower. Except now, despite my wishes, I’m getting not one but two baby showers.


I suggested that if we had to do anything, we invite people to bring a small gift from our registry to our house for Easter. We usually host something every year with a small group of our friends and family. All of the people I like will be there and it’s just a really fun day. That was vetoed by my significant other, and so I said I didn’t want any kind of special shower.

Another friend wanted to plan one and I said no thank you. The other day she tells me, “I’ve decided to do a brunch! No big deal, just a few of our (her) friends and it’s going to be catered. I’m doing it out of the kindness of my heart to honour you.”

"Did I stutter when I said I didn’t want a shower? I had said 'no' to everything."

Did I mumble when I said I didn’t want a shower? I had said "no" to everything. And as though that’s not bad enough, what’s really pissing me off even more is I also found out that my mother in law is planning a surprise shower. WTF, why?! And a surprise? Don't you think I might want to have a say in who's invited?

Through some digging I found out that people that I would have never asked have been invited and are going to be there. Thanks MIL, now I'm in the position of having to be nice to people I don't even want to see.

Oh and pretending to be surprised and happy about it too. I hate, hate, hate surprise parties. I get that I should be grateful that people are excited about this baby, I am too, but I loathe being the centre of attention like this and I really don't like baby showers.

I wish I had been more emphatic about what I actually wanted. Anyone I talk to in person just says I'm being ridiculous and everyone should want a shower. But that’s just not my style and I find it really unfair that I’m being made out to be this spoilt little princess.

All I want is some privacy and to share the happiness of being pregnant and becoming a mum with my family and close friends. Is that so much to ask for?

What advice would you give this mum-to-be if you were in this situation?

While you're here SCROLL THROUGH the gallery for some of the most amazing baby shower candy tables...

If, like this reader, you have a dilemma that you would like advice about, please email [email protected] with Don’t Judge Me in the subject field. You will be contacted before publication, and your identity will be protected.

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