To: The Head Honcho at Clinique.
From: Nicky Champ.
Date: March 20, 2014
Subject: Big mistake. Big. Huge.
I’d like to alert you to an oversight that’s been made by one of the tastemakers within your company.
You see it seems that someone decided (rather hastily, I might add) to discontinue your excellent Quick Eyes Cream Eyeshadow product.
I’m sure that this is just a simple mistake; perhaps someone forgot to reorder it from your supplier? Because why would anyone with full mental faculties decide to discontinue one of the best eye shadow products ever created?
Do you see what this is doing to me? Keyboard vomit. My most hated literary device.
I’m referring specifically to the Muffin shade, which sounds adorable but it got me through some really tough times, you know?
Like the times I had to be somewhere important and only had 30 seconds to get ready: it was there. On maternity leave when I needed to do something to my face to feel half normal: it was there. When I returned to work and often arrived only having three hours of broken sleep: it was there. Heck, I was even wearing it when Mia Freedman interviewed me for this job.
If ever such a thing as a lucky charm beauty product ever existed, this was mine.
It’s (I’m not prepared to use it in the past tense just yet) the only shimmery product I’ve been able to use over the age of 17; it didn’t crease, it lasted all day but wasn’t a bitch to take off at night. And you couldn’t stuff up the application, even if you applied it at the traffic lights or in poor lighting.
4 out of 5 stars! It just doesn’t make sense.