real life

Getting married? You should get one of these, pronto.

A wise man once said: “We want prenup, we want prenup! It’s something that you need to have, cos if she leave yo’ ass, she’s gonna leave wit’ half.”

OK, so those are Kanye West lyrics from the song Gold Digger. But there is a good message in there.

digital privacy prenups

Protecting your financial assets by drawing up a pre-nuptial agreement is sensible. Well, it’s sensible if you’re a pragmatist. If you’re a romantic, preparing for your inevitable break-up before you’ve walked down the aisle is deeply cynical and you’ll do nothing of the sort.

But what if a pre-nuptial agreement could protect other valuable things, like your online reputation? Your dignity? Your privacy in a world that’s relentlessly public?

More couples are choosing to include a ‘digital privacy clause’ in their prenuptial or post-nuptial agreements. Basically it means you decide what happens to any private text messages, naughty images, or DIY sexy-time videos in the event of your break-up. You agree, with stern lawyers watching you sign a legally binding document, not to distribute any compromising images of your love-friend.

It’s seriously smart. It’s the single most effective way to protect yourself from ‘Revenge Porn‘ I’ve heard.Prenup-300_8436


If you don’t know what revenge porn is… It’s a particularly heinous little thing that happens when humans with wounded egos have access to wifi and naughty photos. There are websites where people can upload naked photos or sexy videos of their ex-girlfriends or boyfriends as revenge. It’s humiliating, gross, and potentially life-shattering. Take for example, the horrific case of a woman whose angry ex-husband forwarded naked photos of her to every single email address at her company. She lost her job and presumably crawled under her doona and stayed there forever.

That woman needed a digital privacy clause. If she and her vengeful spouse had signed a contract that said any private images between them had to remain private… That wouldn’t have happened. Or, if he did distribute those images, he would have been punished and she would have been protected.

Look, I’m not getting married any time soon. But I did once have to tell two police officers that my stolen laptop definitely-maybe had some compromising photos on it, so I appreciate the sanctity of privacy and the scariness of not having it.

Think of it this way. Instead of safe-guarding your financial assets, you’re protecting yourself from the possibility that the man you love may somebody decide to post the cute sexts you sent him online or send them to everyone you know.

Just kidding. Don’t think of it that way.

kim-kardashianThink of it this way. If Kim Kardashian had written up digital privacy clauses, the sex tape that made her famous in the first place may never have been leaked and therefore the world would be under no obligation whatsoever to Keep Up With The Kardashians.

Which reminds me, Kanye West: Take your own advice. Get a pre-nup. Everyone famous who definitely takes naked naughty sexy photos of themselves should have a digital privacy clause in their pre-nup. It’s just sensible.

You ain’t no punk.

Would you ever consider a digital pre-nup or any other kind of pre-nup?

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