I didn’t want to face what it was.
It’s so easy to talk yourself out of something you don’t want to be true.
I have talked myself out of the belief that my son is autistic for three years, and maybe longer. I’ve always known there was something different about him. Giovanni, 7, is my middle child, and it was becoming harder to write off his behaviour as ‘middle child syndrome’.
“I didn’t spend enough time with him when he was little,” I’d tell his teachers, to explain why he was a little isolated from others and hard to teach.
Read more: Cage used for autistic child was not an isolated case.
“I fell pregnant when he was seven-months-old and put him in front of the TV too often,” I told friends, to explain his American accent and strange inflection when he spoke.
I used to talk about it with friends and work colleagues and constantly ask his carers and teachers if they thought he ‘was on the spectrum’. I filled in endless online quizzes all suggesting he probably was autistic. I would watch him carefully, how he would only eat certain foods in a particular way. At our favourite restaurant, we’d all dig into elaborate meals and he’d ask for 10 chicken nuggets which he would painstakingly cut into quarters before taking his first bite.
Top Comments
Don't judge don't judge I know the mantra as a fellow mother not to judge other mother's choice. not when I have never walked in their shoes. But let's be honest, placing your own discomfort above getting your child assessed and diagnosed is hard to justify, and has robbed him of the early intervention he could have got years ago, intervention which would have made Giovanni's path through life easier, and is hard to replicate three years later. Perhaps this article would have sat better if it were a passionate plea for other women to embrace their children and seek a diagnosis earlier, instead the ending seems rather half hearted and very full of self acceptance and resignation. If you suspect your child is autistic, for heavens sake put your own feelings aside and get an assessment. Because parenthood isn't meant to be about you, it's meant to be about your child, however difficult that might be.
Jo, I totally understand where you come from. Our 6 year son has just being diagnosed with ASD. We always knew he was different, but needed the confirmation. He has being at 2 different schools in 2 years(Due to moving interstate for work). His first teacher said everything was ok , even after we questioned her on numerous occasions, his paediatrician said give it 12 months. His new teacher after 3 days said he is very different to the other kids, her honesty & integrity were amazing. We are working with her, his school & paediatrician to get the best outcome for him. It's not easy , he has emotional highs & emotional lows all in the one day. We are learning together as a family how to deal with his issues(he also has a 4 year old sister). He to sits at the front of the the class. It broke my heart to see where he sits, but he loves it. When my our son had his assessment he told the pyschologist he had no friends, but he was still happy & it didn't bother him. Although I, on the other hand, had an absolute emotional meltdown in their office. He is now getting amazing help from his teacher, he has an intervention program, he also does a program called What's the Buzz. He's still is the beautiful boy I gave birth to, with or without a diagnoses. We love him dearly, he has the most beautiful kind heart and we are so very proud of what he does & what he can achieve. It is so easy to judge what you don't know, ignorance is bliss. Caroline - Walk a day in the life a parent day with a child with ASD maybe you will get a better understanding of whats going on. Don't be so judge mental. We are doing the best we can, with the cards our child has being dealt. We don't ignore their behaviour, we have to deal with it on a very different level that they can understand. Jo & all the amazing parents I wish you so much happiness in everything you & your child achieves the the end of the day they are our beautiful children. We should be proud of what we have achieved & what they are yet to achieve.