It was grade four.
Somehow, through the ebb and flow of primary school politics, I had made myself an enemy. Out of nowhere, she had decided to take a grudge against me, and pursue it passionately.
It bothered me for a few good weeks, but after careful consideration, I decided that in fact it did not suit me to have an enemy. One day, when our teacher was out of the room, I came at her with a 2B pencil, and that was that.
Some 20 years later, the same thing has happened – I have unwittingly made an enemy, with no idea how or why. But this time I am unsure it is a situation that is able to be resolved with a pencil.
Let me paint the scene.
It was a Saturday night, at the house of one of my partner’s friends; one of his buddies from high school.
My boyfriend had retired early and was already back home in bed. The owner of the house (who, truth be told, had always been a little sour on me) decided that – in catching me solo – this was his opportunity to have a vent.
In front of a handful of our friends, he let it all hang out: Not only pointing out that indeed, he did not like me – but also a fairly strenuous account of why he didn’t like me.
I won’t repeat his exact words, but he was essentially calling me arrogant, self-obsessed, with an inflated ego. He only liked ‘humble’ people, he said. And that wasn’t me.
Top Comments
Wow... and no one said... anything? Nice crowd. Look, it's possible they were feeling incredibly awkward and shocked, and whether or not he genuinely had a point, that was a humiliating and cruel thing to do, calculated to be in the absence of your boyfriend, what a revolting person. Say nothing further about it, just ignore him flatly and if he ever apologises, just say ''I'm too arrogant to accept private apologies, I prefer to hear it in public, with all the original group present, I'm sure you understand, you know me and my ego!''.
*high five* This is so painful! And humiliating! I genuinely hope that some from that gathering contact you, and that your boyfriend also stands up for you. Regardless of any possible 'validity', that was a cruel way to deliver it. I am deeply sensitive and would smart badly over something like that, yet equally he's not got your best interests at heart, so tis vital that you do!
And actually, disappearing WAS in your best interests at that time; you were under attack and our bodies choose fight or flight, and given that no one was showing any sign of being on your side, you removed yourself from the situation. So rather than being harsh on yourself (damn, you already got an evening full of harsh, girl!), you pro-actively and healthily chose Safety. So... *high five*!!