wellness

'It's time for my glow-up.' The six thoughts you've definitely had this year if you're a single woman.

Mojo Kombucha
Thanks to our brand partner, Mojo Kombucha

This year - 2020 - was supposed to be my year.  

January 1 marked a fresh start, the first year I’d been single in a long, long time, and I was ready to spread my wings and swipe right. Repeatedly.

Now don’t get me wrong, things started off great. January and February were two of the happiest months of my life so far. I was meeting new 'friends', dancing in bars until 2am, going on dates... all the things a newly single 24-year-old does.

Then a pandemic decided to poop the party. 

So, in honour of 2020 being a romantic write-off, here are some of the thoughts you've definitely had this year if you're a single woman. While I'm into guys, they definitely apply if you're into girls, too.

'I probably should've settled down'

This was a thought that crossed my mind roughly three days into lockdown in Sydney. How long was it going to be until I could date again? Maybe I should've gone on another date with that guy... he was actually pretty nice and we could've been isolating together right now, doing puzzles, making banana bread, falling in love etc. But no. The February version of Lucy had very high standards and LOOK WHERE THAT GOT US. 

'How many Bumble boyfriends (or girlfriends) is too many?'

Ugh, this was not my best move. I was talking to way too many people on dating apps, but I was just so BORED. It started to get a little messy though when restrictions started to lift and they wanted to meet...in person. Like... monsters. I mean, clearly this was purely digital and a survival mechanism during an unprecedented time. Thank you for your companionship and I’m sorry that I’m the worst. 

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'Now is the time to have the ultimate glow-up' 

Look, I think at the beginning of lockdown there were a lot of us who set the bar pretty high to emerge from hibernation as the best possible version of ourselves. In hindsight, that was never going to happen.  

Instead, there was a lot of wine, plenty of Netflix, and inappropriate lengths of time between hair washes.

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I did, however, manage to channel some of my extreme boredom and free time into a mild glow-up, from the inside out. I did some home workouts on FaceTime with my best friend, I ran 100km in May (I have literally never run in my life? Incredibly out of character), and I started drinking things like green smoothies and kombucha on the daily. It made me feel a little more human and got me out of my iso-rut.

Glow-up in a bottle, much needed for this year. Image: Supplied. 

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'Now that restrictions have eased, what's less awkward out of a video call or a socially distanced walk?'

Nothing hurts my soul more than the thought of being on a virtual first date. What could be more romantic than poor signal and two people speaking over the top of each other due to an inexplicable delay?

I was asked on a couple of FaceTime dates but I politely declined due to the fact that I hadn’t brushed my hair in about a month, and that I also couldn't think of anything worse. But the other most popular alternative wasn’t much better...a socially distanced walk. Maybe it’s just me, but I found it difficult to get excited about a walking date where you need to remain 1.5 metres from each other.

'What if I go on a date with this guy, become patient zero and take down my whole workplace?'

THIS, AH. Close your eyes and imagine; You’re on a first date, it’s going swimmingly, your date walks you home, maybe a little hand holding, maybe a little kissing, it’s all very exciting because neither of you have touched another human in three months, and then for the following weeks you live in constant fear that your shenanigans have resulted in you being patient zero and being the single point of spread within your life. No one else? Just me? Alrighty.

'This has actually been the best time to invest in myself'

Despite all of that, and the dating landscape being stranger than I could've ever imagined, 2020 has provided single people with seriously important time to ourselves that we wouldn’t have had in any other year. There's no way I would've invested as much as I have in getting to know myself and discovering what makes me really happy if it wasn’t for these (...don’t say it, DON’T say it) unprecedented times.

Mojo Kombucha
MOJO is kombucha brewed true: authentically fermented and thriving with live cultures + probiotics give you that good gut feeling! Each bottle is low sugar, spiked with real fruit and spices, and free from unpronounceable sweeteners (including stevia and erythritol), just as we think kombucha should be. Find us living in the chilled juice fridge at Woolworths and Coles. To learn more, visit mojobeverages.com.au or follow us on Instagram @mojobeverages