A few years ago, my partner and I moved into a new home. We left our crammed bottom-floor apartment for our most spacious home yet, with an extra bedroom and all.
Since I’m self-employed and work from home, I was excited beyond containment. I was to have a room of my own. One with a window, and space to turn around. (My previous home office was a tiny closet with no air circulation.) I could even fit my piano in there.
But best of all: my new room had space for a bed of my own.
My partner and I had lived together for over five years, and had always shared a bed. As you usually do when you’re in a long-term romantic relationship. Over the years, our apartments had grown bigger and our beds wider. As a result, I had become increasingly more pleasant to share a home with. This wasn’t always so.
As a highly sensitive introvert, I crave a lot of personal space and alone time. I’m extremely private, and when I feel imposed on, I get grumpy and lash out.
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Many times, I’ve wondered if I’m at all capable of living that close to anyone, even someone I love so much. To constantly be around one another drained me and it hurt our relationship. We moved apart several times.
Top Comments
Dunno about separate bedrooms, not really a problem for my wife and I, but separate bathrooms? Now you're talking.
Right with you james b - as far as bathroom allocation goes, I'm like Hong Kong vs China
Separate by treaty for a while and then your porcelain gets all but annexed, noisily and with a lot of gas?
Fully support your own bed - own room.
Have a read of A Room of Her Own by Virginia Woolf. Your guilt & shame may have more to do with what others dish out (& society) - ignore them.
You know what works for you & hopefully your partner - go with that.
Wish we had done the same. Lack of a good sleep is a gateway to mental issues - so as Malcolm X once said - “Whatever it takes”.
Signed,
Happily sleeping in my own bed.