I’d like to think that I’m a fairly intelligent, competent person. That as an educated, independent woman who can open stubborn jam jars and change a tyre, I can also be counted on to perform the everyday parenting basics.
Why then, do I find it so bloody difficult to apply a simple sheet of clear plastic to a school exercise book?
I have three children, all of school age, each with an average of 15 books to cover come January. That, for all of you playing along at home, means that there are approximately 45 books that need to be covered in contact per year. Yes, I DID ace maths at school, thanks for asking.
So, yes, the books. See the thing is, these cannot be covered in simply any old thing. Oh no, apparently, unless it ends up looking like a Disney Princess projectile vomited over an exercise book, book, no one can rest.
And yet I do understand this passion to have schoolbooks covered in something that they love. When I was a kid, going back to school to start the new year with freshly covered school books was one of life’s greatest and exact pleasures. Although back then our books were covered in brown paper and the only colour came from the pictures I sourced from Smash Hits. From memory, Corey Haim featured quite predominantly in 1987.
I vividly remember my Mum, sitting at the kitchen table, her best scissors at the ready, cutting, applying and covering each and every book with military precision. They came out smooth, without air bubbles and professional.So why does this simple process elude me? Why do they always just end up looking like one of those giant in ground trampolines at the Big 4 holiday parks?
I went looking online for solutions, even asking fellow parents what they do and whether they enjoy the process. The majority grunted at me, still unable to discuss it. Yet some told me that they basically got off on it. That they found it “therapeutic”.
You know what I find therapeutic? Sitting on a deck chair, drinking wine, surrounded by nothing but silence and a beautiful mountain location.