Excuse me but something’s happened.
It’s… it’s Clive Palmer.
You know the fella – Australian businessman? Former politician? Leader of the (in)famous Palmer United Party?
You see, Clive's done a thing...
His political career (obviously) wasn't working out: according to Queensland's The Sunday Mail Palmer went unseen in his electorate "for almost seven months"; opted for yellow (eww) as his campaign colours; and was absent from Parliament more often than any other Senator: forty-four times. Forty-four.
Listen: Jessie Stephens debates the importance of doing things we're bad at with Monique Bowley and Mia Freedman, on Mamamia Out Loud. Maybe Clive Palmer's on the right track after all... Post continues after audio.
Anyway BACK TO PRESENT DAY because in a move that has A.B. Banjo Patterson rolling in his grave, the former Senator has set his sights on the world of poetry.
As did poetry greats Sylvia Plath and Rudyard Kipling before him, Palmer has adopted Facebook as the ideal platform through which his gospel will be dispelled.
With 14K 'likes', 'Tim Tam Slam' is the most well-received of his works to date. And I have some thoughts but also concerns.
Clive. Are you okay? Are you maybe being held somewhere against your will? This is almost certainly a cry for help.