by JO ABI
I am CONSTANTLY asked if I’m going to have another baby and I am often asked the question whilst surrounded by my three children. How do they know I want another one, because I really really do. Is there a sign on my forehead?
I know it’s crazy. Four children these days is a lot. Four children is a pack. Four children mean we’ll need a bigger car, a bigger house and more money. But another baby is what I want. And I don’t know what to do.
I have two boys and a girl. I have my girl. Who am I to have another beautiful, healthy baby? There are couples who can’t have any. I have three nephews and a niece. I’m surrounded by children. I’ve given away my cot and my rocker. I’m done, aren’t I?
There’s this saying I love. It goes, “Bite off more than you can chew and then chew like crazy.” That’s how I’ve felt ever since I had my third baby. But I just love it. I love everything about being a mother. I never thought I would love it so much. I love watching them eat the dinner I have made, I love grocery shopping with them and having them help me choose food for the week, I love dressing them after their bath, chasing then around the house while they do their traditional nightly ‘nude run’ amidst lots of laughing and the occasional fall.
But to go back to baby-stage…
Baby-stage is fun but it’s all-consuming and I’m worried that when I have another baby my other children will feel neglected. But I did okay when I had my third. I involved them as much as I could and I always made time for hugs and conversation at the end of the day, no matter how tired I felt.
My boys became so comfortable with their baby sister that they dragged her to their room so she could watch them play video games. I had left her on her play mat and when I walked back in – coffee in hand – she was gone. I walked quickly to the boy’s room and found they had grabbed her little arms and dragged her the whole way. She hadn’t even cried and she was lying on their dirty floor, happily gurgling and dribbling away. I put her in the rocker and left her there. She was always happiest when she was with them.
When I spoke to my husband about the prospect of having another baby he said, “Whatever you decide, I’ll do.” How frustrating. Can’t he give me some sort of reaction? Can’t he at least help me make a list of pros and cons?