Relationship expert, Louanne Ward, says that while it’s tempting to confine yourself to the couch in your finest flannelette pyjamas and watch the 76th rerun of Love Actually while eating your body weight in leftover Christmas ham, there are some simple tips to get you through.
1. Step away from the phone.
Don’t text your ex, don’t call them, don’t email them – don’t pass a message through a friend. Sever all ties. Not forever – just for now.
Ask your ex to respect your wishes and not to contact you either. Then stick to your guns – you don’t need the emotional torture that prolongs your healing at this time of year. Of course, if you have children, negotiate an arrangement with your ex.
LISTEN: The Mamamia Out Loud team discusses how long you should wait before you sleep with someone when dating? Post continues after audio.
2. Don’t be a Grinch.
You might not feel like putting on your party frock, but don’t hide away either. Say yes to the invitation, attend the function. Be around people who make you happy. Ask your friends for help.
You don’t have to share all the gory break up details, and you don’t even have to take their advice. But talking to them is likely to help.
3. Look at the bright side.
Seriously, grab a pen and paper and think about all the benefits to breaking up. It can be a challenge, but they’re there. I’ll get you started.
1) I don’t have to angst over choosing the perfect gift for my partner.
2) I won’t feel guilty about taking the last fruit mince pie.
3) I don’t have to talk to his sister
4) I can buy more fruit mince pies and nobody will know etc. Get a pen and start…see if you can get to 100!
4. Remember what Christmas is really about.
Forget for a moment all the commercial hype and superficial BS. Fulfilment comes from giving. Think about ways you can give to others, and expect nothing in return. I guarantee this will make you feel better. Think homeless shelters, women’s refuge, soup kitchens. Donate to those wishing trees at the shopping centres you’ve walked past a million times. Think about the people you’re helping – it’ll make you smile.
5. Be good to yourself.
Stop wallowing in what could have been said or done differently. Cry it out if it helps. What happened, happened and it doesn’t matter what other people think. Nobody really knows what goes on behind closed doors.
Start looking to tomorrow. Exercise, eat well, mediate, read. Go shopping! Make yourself happy.
Have you ever suffered holiday heartbreak, or maybe you a great piece of advice? Tell us in the comments below... just like group therapy.