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"If you want me to come to your child free wedding, you should offer a babysitter."

I’m a mum of two kids under five. Coming from a fairly large family and being in the lead up to wedding season, we’re currently getting invited to wedding after wedding after wedding.

But when I say ‘we’, I don’t mean my husband, my kids and myself. I mean just my husband and I. It seems this year it has become very on trend to have a child free wedding. No kiddies allowed.

I get it, I truly do. Less meals to pay for. No need for a page boy or flower girl. No kids running across the dance floor at inappropriate times. No little feet stomping on your big white wedding gown.

Image via iStock.

There are some obvious benefits to not have kids being a part of your big day. There are also lots of negatives... but now isn't the time to get into those.

However what I will say is this.

Why are we as parents expected to carry the financial burden of hiring someone to look after our children so that the bride and groom can have a kid free event?

I know what you will say.

Do you hire a baby sitter to go on date night?

Do you hire a baby sitter when you want a weekend away?

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Do you hire a baby sitter when you want to go to a fancy dinner?

Well, the answers are yes, yes and yes.

Image via iStock.

Except the fact here is that when it comes to child free weddings, the decision is being imposed on us as opposed to us deciding we want a date night, a weekend away or a fancy dinner. Do you catch my drift?

Children are a part of life, you can't just include them then exclude them at your own wish. There are arrangements to be made quite frankly, a baby sitter isn't cheap.

I know this isn't a gripe that I carry alone and that many other parents would agree with me. A number of parents I have mentioned this to think this is a great idea and definitely something that should be considered by the bride and groom.

At the end of the day if you don't want my kids there, you should make the arrangements for who will look after them.

Have you been invited to a child free wedding? Do you think the bride and groom should offer a baby sitter?

This writer is well-known to The Motherish but has requested to keep her identity private.

If you have a dilemma that you would like advice about, please email [email protected] with Don’t Judge Me in the subject field. You will be contacted before publication, and your identity will be protected.

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