lifestyle

What kind of parents would name their daughter this?

 

 

 

A Florida woman’s mugshot has gone viral, because she has the greatest nonsensical name in the history of all names given to all babies.

Meet Cherries Waffles Tennis:

 

via

 

Cherries Waffles (or is it Ms Tennis?), 19, was arrested for allegedly trying to buy a GoPro camera with a stolen credit card.

But her crime feels like a minor detail. Well, anything a person called Cherries Waffles Tennis does is going to feel like a minor detail.

We tried to decipher how her parents might have come up with such a fancy name 19 years ago, and we think we may have cracked the complex formula:

 

FRUIT + DESSERT + SPORT = AWESOME NAME

 

We put the formula to the test in the Mamamia office. We will be legally changing our names within days:

Jamila: Kiwis Puddings Tennis

Kate S: Nectarines Ice Creams Swimming

Lucy O: Lychees Muffins Netball

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Alissa: Watermelons Gelato Ocean Swimming

Lucy G: Bananas Pannacottas Minky

Grace: Mangoes Tiramisu Lacross

Mia: Plums Triffles Running

Sarah: Peaches Cheesecakes Hockey

Caitlin: Apples Mars Bar Slices Gymnastics

Matilda: Strawberries Sticky Date Puddings Hurdles

Avi: Passion Fruits Rice Puddings Kayaking

Valentina: Pears Creme Brulees Soccer

Kahla: Pineapples Lemon Meringue Pies Basketball

Nicky: Oranges Brownies Water Polo

Alyx: Durians Chia Puddings Curling

Kate L: Rambutans Crumbles Tai Kwon Do

Rosie: Tomatoes Jellies TV-Watching

 

So, follow the formula and tell us your new name. DO IT NOW.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Rogue is Mamamia’s space for fun, viral and random content, with everything from feminism to pop culture. We scour the internet so you don’t have to, and bring all the best bits back.