real life

'A letter to my lying, cheating husband: You are a weak coward who has scarred us for life.'

The author intends this to be an update to our previous post, ‘A letter to the woman who so desperately wants my husband’. You can read that here.

You left our family nine weeks ago, abruptly and cruelly, having planned it secretly for weeks. We had no idea.

You knew I had written a letter to your abhorrent mistress telling her you had misrepresented your feelings, admonishing her for declaring her love for you.

Your parting words to me – “it has been going on for two years” were a knife in my heart – but also, strangely a relief. A relief from all the lies, the gaps in narrative, the general sense of unease I have felt for two years. You repeatedly told me it was a one night stand but now I know it was much more than that. Seedy airport hotel rooms and flights to Brisbane and her to Sydney – I want to throw up when I think about that. You came home to your family after those days when you were meant to be working at the very stressful job you have – one which I have been supportive of as this was your excuse for being so stressed. Have you been performing well at your job I wonder?

Sophie Monk talks to Mamamia about cheating. Post continues after video.

Video by MMC

You haven’t seen our children for nine weeks. Your pathetic emails and frankly heartless letter you left for me and your self-absorbed emails to our children have become a laughing stock, a legendary meme as an example of a man with no substance.

How dare you tell them you have spent the last five months considering your future while living at home with us and keeping me in the dark about your feelings and intentions. You don’t have enough honour to discuss how you felt and give me a chance to try and work it out. You just brutally left – yet you still asked to walk the dog!

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Our children have categorically said they do not want any contact. Any contact with you only hurts them and me. If you have any sensitivity or compassion in the monster you have become please – just leave them.

If you really wanted a relationship with them you need to show by actions not words. You could have asked me for advice – despite what you told me I am not vindictive, I have their best interests at heart, unlike you. How did you think abandonment and betrayal would make them want to see you?

There could have been a way forward – you, always an invested, loving father have forsaken this chance by your continued deluded self-indulgence.

It pains me to say this but you are such a weak coward. Stand up and own your behaviour instead of all the drivel about unhappiness. No one wants to hear it. A good man would offer heartfelt apologies for their phenomenal litany of lies. You would have been forgiven. This is the tragedy.

I will never accept the loathsome narrative of our marriage that you continue to peddle. You may continue to delude yourself but the substance we had was real, off track for sure, but survivable and with a future.

The choices you made over the last two years are yours to own and live with. The disastrous ramifications of your decisions will scar the three of us for a lifetime.

You have made a mockery of me and my life and shared intimate details about me with a loathsome, morally bankrupt woman.

You are a broken, character flawed man. Your unhappiness is deep within yourself and has nothing to do with me or our marriage. I hope you will acknowledge this one day and seek help for your self- deception and complex psychological needs. You are an emotionally stunted conflict avoider who will bring these traits to any relationship you have.

You have a shipwreck of a life – sadly, you have also left us utterly adrift.

I hope bringing up another man’s children brings you the “happiness” you seek.

Your wife, Kate.


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