Melinda Hutchings of Canteen writes:
This Mother’s Day, youth cancer charity CanTeen reaches out to young Australians aged 12-24 who have been devastated by their mum’s cancer diagnosis.
Research conducted by CanTeen, in collaboration with Sydney University, revealed that a shocking 75% of young people aged 16-24 years who have a parent with cancer display high or very high levels of psychological distress. This compares to just 9% of young people in the general population.
At this time of year, the impact of a mother’s illness can be particularly hard to deal with. Lachlan, who has lived with his mum since his parent’s divorce when he was two years old, knows the heartbreak only too well. “When you’re 13 and have just started high school you don’t think about your mum dying – you don’t even consider it. So it was a very big shock to find out mum had cancer.”
Lachlan found out the day of his team soccer photos last year. “Mum was late and I was waiting at home in my soccer clothes,” he said. “When I got in the car I could tell she’d been crying. We started driving and she burst into tears. I didn’t know what was happening and automatically started crying because mum was crying. I asked her ‘what’s wrong’ and she didn’t want to tell me. When we arrived at soccer she said ‘I might have breast cancer’. Everything went quiet. I felt like my heart stopped. I didn’t want to get out of the car.”
Lachlan’s soccer coach and his mum encouraged him to join his team mates in the club house.
“I had the photo taken and wasn’t thinking about soccer just about mum. I felt scared because I didn’t know what was going to happen next. I couldn’t think of anything but mum. You can see in the soccer photo that I have red eyes because I’d been crying. I’ll never forget that day.”
Every year 15,000 young Australians have a parent diagnosed with cancer, which can have a devastating impact on a young person. A cancer diagnosis causes fear and uncertainty and can threaten the security of a young person’s world, leaving them feeling vulnerable, frightened and confused.
“The hardest thing about mum’s cancer was the possibility that she could die. I didn’t want to lose her. I thought I’d be with her forever and ever and to realise that might not happen and for the rest of my life I’d be without mum was the scariest thing ever,” says Lachlan.
“The other thing that was hard was that mum couldn’t be at my soccer games any more. When she’s there she cheers so loudly I can hear her from the other side of the field. So to not have her there was upsetting.”