friendship

Can you really get an 'amicable divorce' like Gwyneth Paltrow did?

It sounds too good to be true. Doesn’t it?

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin once coined a new term to explain how a ‘loving’ separation works – they called it consciously uncoupling. A lot of people looked on this with wide eyes  – it was new, it was different.

I think the biggest shock to everyone was the fact that two grown adults (with children) could separate their lives from each other with maturity and no drama. Hollywood actors were proving that it was possible to keep the peace and stay friends with someone during and after divorce, even when joint custody was involved.

So now  the question is more prominent than ever – can you really have an amicable divorce?

Can you stay amicable?

A husband and Reddit user, SeriouslyUniqueName has literally put the question to the internet. He asked, "Is the Amicable Divorce' a myth?"

After being married to his wife for 19 years, this husband admits that he's not happy in their marriage and that his wife has offered him a way out. He opens up about having been diagnosed with depression and that his wife would rather see him happy. The husband also says that they've got an eight-year-old son between them.

He explains what his wife has said about his options.

"She says I'm her best friend and that she hopes we could continue an amicable relationship. I think we are mature enough that we could, but I'm wondering if the process of divorce and child-custody...would put enough strain on this once amicable venture in such a way as to turn it sour," SeriouslyUniqueName asks. He admits they probably should've parted a while ago but tried to stay together for their son."We never have arguments, at least not around him. We both always put him first and would continue to do so," he said. "So, what are some experiences with this type of arrangement?" The husband asks.

Apparently you can have a good divorce.

The responses are resoundingly positive, but all admit it takes hard work, commitment and compromise.

"It is possible, I am living it. But it does take a lot of work on both sides.

My ex and I decided to separate amicably. Sometimes he does something that I'm not happy about and vise versa however you both have to continue working on it forever.

You can control yourself but you cannot control her. I would say discuss it with her first. We decided to do this for our 2 children and that keeps us focused.

I sincerely hope that it all goes well," chocolatephantom said.

 Those without kids found the experience easier.

"My wife and I are amicably divorcing. We just grew apart and we came to the conclusion that we'll be happier if we go our separate ways. We have no children and only the house is owned jointly. All other assets and liabilities are separate. We are both working on splitting stuff up and getting things figured out. We may also do divorce mediation," imissdancing said.

Here are some of the other answers about amicable divorces - it seems Gwyn and Chris may have been on to something a lot more common than we first thought.

SCROLL THROUGH to see people's responses...

Want more? Try:

"10 unexpected silver linings of divorce."

"Gwyneth: 'We're not splitting, we're conscious uncoupling'."