Is it normal that... My husband's best friend is a woman?

This iVillager thought she was fine with her husband’s best friend, but now things have changed. What should she do?

My husband Edward and his best friend Sara have known each other since they were kids. They grew up together, went to school together and always shared the same circle of friends.

They lost touch when they both hit their 20s. She got married and moved away to Queensland and he stayed in Sydney for work.

She’s recently moved back and they have gone from staying in touch via email and Facebook to having lunch once a week. The entire time I have been with him she’s lived in Queensland so while I knew of her and of his affection for her I’ve never really had to deal with the reality of their friendship.

We’ve met, and she seems really nice. She’s pretty. She seems happily married. My husband assures me they’ve never dated, never so much as drunk-snogged, but I can’t help but feel a tad uncomfortable with their closeness.

Do they talk about me? Does he share his feelings with her? Do they discuss their marital problems?

And, would I be more comfortable if his best friend was a guy and they discussed all of these things?

He knows I feel uncomfortable and I have the impression he has told her I feel uncomfortable with their friendship because it’s like they go out of their way to include me. They invited me to have lunch with them and I went along but it was awkward.

I asked my husband how he would feel if my best friend was a man and he said he’d be fine with it. Easy to say when that’s not the case. We both have lots of friends of the opposite sex but not ‘besties’.

Am I right to feel uncomfortable or am I just being silly and insecure?

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