I was bullied on and off for most of my high school years. I also received an apology from one of my bullies.
In some ways, the apology changed my life. It gave me a freedom from feelings that I lived with for most of my adult life. It wasn’t as simple as ‘I’m sorry’ and just like magic my life was transformed. If only it was that easy.
Tanya Hennessy talks about her high school bully on I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here. Post continues below.
We like to think that when school ends, so too does the bullying. In many ways it did. What didn’t end for me were the long-lasting impacts of bullying and the changes I made to myself to protect my heart from ever feeling that way again.
In early 2018, I was added to a Facebook group for a school reunion. In an instant, I was transported straight back to a time that I had buried deep inside but never forgot.
The bullying was at times physical. There was a class I had where the majority of other students made it their mission to get me to cry every lesson and there were others who would ‘let’ me be their friend if I met their conditions. I did everything I could to fit in but nothing seemed to last for any length of time. Every time I would just start to feel comfortable or just a little bit accepted, the goalposts would move.
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I too was a victim of bullying in year 9. I was effectively alienated from my group of friends by one member of the group while the others all sat on the fence not willing to make a choice one way of the other. When my reunion came around I didn’t want to attend as I was worried I’d run into her there and I know full well she never thought she did anything wrong so would not have been apologetic. I think the whole experience made me the person I am today- I learnt to not trust everything people say and to be on my guard with “friends”. I am still scarred by the whole experience and unfortunately can never have closure as she has now passed away although I’m not sure I could have accepted her apology in the highly unlikely event age had given one. The damage can be so deep And last a lifetime so I’m always careful with my words nowadays.