Planning a wedding is always fraught with drama, but for one woman it’s causing serious tension with her in-laws.
Reddit user electricandlive took the forum to seek advice on a problem that started after her sister-in-law, the bride to be, requested that she wear the bridesmaid’s dress to the wedding.
The twist? She’s not even a bridesmaid.
“I’m a professional musician and my sister-in-law asked me to play her down the aisle, so I was like ‘Yes, no problem’. I can do that for her (even though they all know I don’t enjoy performing that sort of music),” she wrote.
Top Comments
I think you're being spectacularly selfish and making a mountain out of a molehill here. I get that you wouldn't do your wedding this way. That's because your wedding is yours to do as you wish, and hers is hers.
Is what she asked of you (just to wear a specific frock) nasty? Spiteful? Maliciously intentioned? Does she want you to dress in a way that would humiliate or deeply offend you? I doubt it very much. You have been very vague about her meanness about your wedding and I suspect it may be because you are interpreting things the wrong way.
Are you trying to see the situation from her perspective and be supportive and focused on being a good sister in law and the health of your long term relationship? I don't think so.
I suspect she was deciding between choosing you as a bridesmaid and requesting this honour of you, which is also an enormous compliment - she thinks you are so talented and she cares for you so much she wants you to 'walk her down the aisle'. So she's essentially bestowing a double honour on you.
It's up to you to stop trying to make this about you, to stop trying to read into this situation as being such a big deal that you feel terribly offended by, and be supportive and gracious and accept the honour in the spirit which it was likely intended.
Flipping heck, there are so many big awful things out there in the world. There are families that abuse each other, steal from each other, don't even talk. Why get your nose out of joint about wearing a frock for a day? Why do you have to make such an enormous deal out of it?
I think your reaction says a lot more about you than her request says about her.
Cynical I know. But if it was my 'sister in law' I'd be concerned with what the real motivation was for asking me to wear a bridesmaids dress in the first place. During the wedding it'd be to embarrass me in some way, and after the wedding I could definitely see myself reading a bride telling a shaming story somewhere, of her sister in law not accepting she wasn't part of the wedding party, but then wearing the dress anyway. But they are toxic, game playing narcissists like that. So my concerns are probably unique, and not transferable admittedly. .