A $29k skirt and a 'minced pork' handbag: These 7 fashion things are trending, and we're sorry.

Have you heard about the 29 thousand dollar skirt?

Oh, you haven't??

You must be a normal, well-adjusted person who is worried about rising petrol prices and not a consumer of couture, like the micro-elite that have signed up to pre-order this extremely pricey leather skirt on luxury fashion website Moda Operandi. 

That'll just be a $14.5k deposit and it's yours by December! Image: Moda Operandi. The "muppet skirts", as the internet affectionately called them, came down the Bottega Veneta runway at the Fall/Winter 2022 shows in Milan. Showcased in purple and yellow, they became desirable in the eyes of the fashion media immediately, circulating in trend reports moments after the show's conclusion.

We even gushed over the covetable midiskirts on our fashion podcast, What Are You Wearing?

None of us were to know they would cost the equivalent of a year's private school fees. Or a small SUV (that was $29k USD, by the way.)

But the joke's on us, because the reason the style is currently available for pre-sale is because it will inevitably sell out.

On the flipside, in the past month we've all been very triggered by this viral strip of fabric Miu Miu miniskirt which is objectively not wearable. 

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So what gives? 

Well, friends, in case you missed the memo, fashion is having a love affair with ugly things right now. Ugly, expensive things.

Listen to our fashion podcast for the inside story on that controversial miniskirt. Post continues below.

What else, apart from divisive skirts, is reluctantly on trend right now? Here are 6 items to know about, according to a fashion editor with far too much vested interest.

This Bottega Veneta handbag that looks like pork mince.

Made of "tactile pink chenille", this brain-esque pouch has also been described by Instagram account Diet Prada as pork minced meat and now we can't unsee it.

But while pork will cost you a reasonable $9 at the supermarket, this clutch will set you back $3,110.

And while we laugh and laugh, you will see knock-offs at affordable accessory stores. And you'll probably want one.

Just add onion. Image: My Theresa. 

These bejewelled velvet clogs.

The iconic blue Manolo Blahniks may be Carrie Bradshaw's favourite heels, but we feel like she'd skip this spin-off at Barneys.

The famed shoe designer has teamed up with Birkenstock to reinterpret two of the footwear brand's best-known designs - the clog mule and the two-strap sandal. Available in fancy fuchsia and sapphire blue velvet, they're the ugly shoe the world didn't know it was waiting for. 

Next stop: the feeds of all your favourite influencers.

Orthopaedic sandal, but make it Bridgerton. Image: Manolo Blahnik. 

2010s bodycon.

Just when we thought we were safe in our roomy, oversized clothes, 2000s everything is back to haunt us. And that includes the bodycon trend that was so prevalent in the early noughties.

Think those iconic Hervé Léger cutaway bandage dresses, only smaller. 

We saw versions of the look on the runway at Coperni and Versace, and Khloé Kardashian just wore her own take on the trend while out in Miami. Don't get us wrong - she looked amazing. Lots of people will look amazing in these dresses and should wear them with the confidence they endow. 

But some of us aren't ready for stretchy mini-dresses to be 'It' again.

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Theatrical gloves.

While opera gloves used to be reserved for... the opera, they've now made highly publicised appearances in And Just Like That... and become part of Kim Kardashian's uniform. And you know what that means - gloves are about to be everywhere. 

We'll see the trend at weddings, formals, and even adapted into streetwear. Hey - at least this one's COVID-safe.

Kim rarely leaves home without gloves these days. Images: Instagram/@kimkardashian 

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All black everything.

Because fashion likes to subvert itself and reject the very trends it just made popular, after you finally got used to wearing bold colour, it looks like black is officially back in stylish circles.

You can (mostly) thank Julia Fox for this one.

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But don't throw out your green two-piece set or that hot pink dress just yet, because colour was still trending at the Melbourne Fashion Festival here in Australia and it looks like it'll stick around for our winter. You may just decide to wear that bright top with black leather pants.

Servo sunnies.

Yes, like the plastic ones you pick up for 15 bucks at the Shell with your meat pie.

Only more farshun.

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What trend surprised you most? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

But also, while you're here, please enjoy team Mamamia reviewing some very un-friendly fashion.

For more from Tamara, you can follow her on Instagram here. 

Feature image: Instagram / @demnagram; @kimkardashian; Moda Operandi; My Theresa; Manolo Blahnik