school

Everything you have heard about boarding school is probably, definitely, true.

Chances are, everything you have heard about boarding school is probably, definitely, true.

The food is crap. You make life long friends. And the pranks you pull will stay with you forever. But, there is a bit more to it than that.

Having attended an all girls boarding school in rural NSW for my six years of high school, I was privy to some knowledge that has made me the (sometimes) independent person I am today.

Like the fact that in the first few years, all the boarders would get their periods around the same time. Or how you could solve anything with some staples.

These are some of the things you probably don’t know about boarding school:

1. Bread is your friend.

The food is nothing like Hogwarts. Image via Harry Potter, Universal.

There was a very high chance that what was being served for dinner was, well, crap. (I STILL can’t eat rice pudding after one girl found a band aid in hers).

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But one thing that was always guaranteed to get you through the night was bread. Bread and butter. Bread and Vegemite, or, my personal favourite - the mashed potato sandwich. Delicious.

2. Short sheeting is a right of passage.

If someone was giving you the sh*ts, or you just felt like being a little cheeky - the best way to do this was short sheet their bed when they were at Netball practice.

All you had to do was make the top sheet look like the bottom sheet at the top of the bed. The fold said top sheet up from the bottom to tuck it in and make it look normal. Then when the person got in, their legs couldn’t go anywhere.

3. You would never enter the shower without your thongs on…. and if you did. Sheesh.

One word, tinea.

4. Heading to the dispensary with period cramps was a guaranteed way to get out of PE class.

It wasn’t plausible for boarders to forge sick notes from their parents - but one known way to get out of P.E was to head to the dispensary (aka sick bay) and claim period cramps. You’d take some Naprogesic, have a lie down - and be out in time for recess.

5. Your periods always sync up.

You ate breakfast at the same time. You brushed your teeth at the same time. You handed your phone in at the same time. So of course, you got your period at the same time.

Those poor boarding mistresses.

6. Glad wrap was a very useful tool.

Anyone who has been to boarding school knows that the set dining room times can drag on. But with some glad wrap and some clean cups for the next dining setting, you were never bored. The key was putting the glad wrap on top of the clean glasses so that when the next person went to fill up, water would go everywhere.

7. Having a fake phone is the only way to survive life.

8pm phone hand in was the worst. That’s why it was always a good idea to make sure you had a spare old Nokia phone you could slot in instead.

8. You used staples to fix a rip in your pinafore.

Who needs a sewing kit when you can staple your dress back together?

9. There was nothing worse than when someone stole your towel in the communal shower.

It happened to everyone once, right. RIGHT?

* Image via Wild Child movie, Universal Studios

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