The 6 unconscious expressions of all women everywhere.

 

 

Being a human with a brain is hard.

If you’re not struggling with how to walk and drink from a bottle at the same time (oh, is that just me?), you’re constantly juggling about five million different thought functions at any one time – from breathing, to remembering to return that call, to trying to finish that task while also trying to pay that bill, to pretending that you know there are five million different thought functions.

Just existing every day is so freaking exhausting, it’s no wonder Official Science People have recently become aware of the phenomenon of ‘Resting Faces’. A ‘Resting Face’ is the expression your face automatically falls into when you’re not concentrating on making another face. It’s basically your neutral face; the face you make when your brain needs a break from remembering to make your face look pleasant.

The first Resting Face discovered was the Bitchy Resting Face but since then, many more people have come forward with their own Resting Face versions. And now, after much Science-based research (looking on the internet) and peer-reviewed study (talking to my friends over a box of wine), I’ve been able to pinpoint the 6 most common Resting Faces.

Don’t worry, everybody is represented on this list because science:

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All Science articles have random stock photos, so I typed 'bitchy face' into the internet and got this.
All Science articles have random stock photos, so I typed ‘bitchy resting face’ into the internet and got this.

1. Bitchy Resting Face

Also known as The ‘You should smile more!’ Face, BRF is the original of all the Resting Faces.

How to know if you have it:

If people are constantly asking you what they’ve ‘done wrong’, it’s probably because your face currently looks like you want to punch them in the boob and/or balls. Try smiling, but avoid looking like you’re in pain while you do it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The internet says a 'cheerful resting face' is a lady with a plant and a loaf of bread.
The internet says a ‘cheerful resting face’ is a lady with a plant and a loaf of bread.

2. Cheerful Resting Face

Also known as The ‘Please come and talk to me stranger’ Face.

How to know if you have it:

If complete randoms constantly approach you on the street to talk about their cat’s anus medication, it’s probably because your lovely bloody face is inviting them to do so.

Old people in particular like to tell you about their doctor’s appointments.

Also, people can get mad at you for looking happy at inappropriate places, such as funerals and hospitals. Tone it down Chirpy McGee.

 

 

 

 

 

I couldn't find a photo of a confused face that didn't include someone shrugging their shoulders.
I couldn’t find a photo of a confused face that didn’t include someone shrugging their shoulders.

3. Confused Resting Face

Also known as The ‘Do you need some help, sweetie?’ Face.

How to know if you have it:

If you are always being asked if you understand/if you’re lost/if you need help etc, it’s probably because your face is indicating that you don’t understand, you are lost and you do need help.

Also, people constantly address you with names like ‘sweetie’ or ‘honey’ or ‘muffin’. Maybe try some hipster glasses for an automatic IQ boost (although this will also give you an automatic wanker boost, so watch out for that).

 

 

 

 

Try searching 'blank resting face'. Seriously. All you get is mannequins.
Try searching ‘blank resting face’. Seriously. All you get is mannequins.

4. Totally Blank Resting Face

Also known as The ‘Are you even listening to me?’ Face.

How to know if you have it:

If everybody in your life feels like you don’t pay attention to anything they say ever, it’s probably because your face looks like an even more bored version of Wednesday Admas/Daria Morgendorffer.

Also, nobody ever wants to be alone with you at night because they suspect you may be an emotionless psychopath. So good luck with that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Internet thinks that every sarcastic person is laughing and pointing. But you get the idea.
The Internet thinks that every sarcastic person is laughing and pointing. But you get the idea.

5. Sarcastic Resting Face

Also known as the The ‘What’s so funny?’ Face.

How to know if you have it:

If everybody around you thinks that you’re laughing at them, it’s probably because that smirk on your face says ‘I’m laughing at you’.

You may also find that every single person you have a conversation with asks you if there’s something on their face.

This is because your face is indicating that there is something very humourous about thier face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I couldn't decide who to pick.
I couldn’t decide who to pick.

6. Unintentionally Surprised Resting Face

Also known as The ‘You’ve had too much plastic surgery’ Face.

How to know if you have it:

You’ve had too much plastic surgery.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Which of the six Resting Faces are you? Or did Rosie miss you in her thorough scientific research?

 

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