There is no more room on the internet for another listicle about the umpteen things to do with leftover turkey. None.
Christmas is a hoot and all, but let’s be real. As actor/comedian/Instagram legend Celeste Barber says in our Christmas Hacks video above, it’s also “a bag of d*cks”.
You spend January to November fondly reminiscing about last year’s family Christmas dinner and how nice it was seeing Uncle Steve and the Joneses; how Cousin Ange drank too much brandy and dozed off on the couch before you could even serve up dessert.
Then December rolls around.
You spend four hours on a Tuesday night figuring out who is coming and how big a turkey you’ll need to order. Then you remember six family members are gluten-free and three more only eat meat if it’s been raised on a diet of organic grass and unicorn tears.
So you decide you’ll cook the standard turkey and also cater to all the vegos and gluten dodgers. Until you make a shopping list and realise the ingredients are going to cost more than a house deposit. But by that time, you’re three wines deep and this is a job for not now.
Fast-forward two weeks. It's mid-December and you're googling something along the lines of How to feed a family of 34 for $6.40. And you begin getting flashbacks of how utterly shambolic last year's event actually was.